This is The Pits

Last week I ate a peach for the first time in thirty-one years.

I’m from the South, so it’s kind of a sacrilege that I have chosen not to partake in this fuzzy nectar of the gods for the past three decades.

No, I’m not allergic. I have a much deeper and more disturbing reason.

I had a nightmare when I was three or four years old. Amazingly, even after all this time, it is still vivid in my mind. There was a balding actor in The Electric Company, a kids’ show that used to come on PBS after Sesame Street.

I normally had no problem with this guy, but in my nightmare, he chased down my mother and pulled out her eyeballs. Then he replaced them with peach pits! She came staggering toward me with her arms stretched out like a peach-pit-eyed zombie. I woke up completely traumatized.

From that night on, I could not eat a peach.

When I was about 15, I had nearly overcome my phobia… or so I thought. My mom, however, with her twisted sense of humor, caused a relapse.

One day, she called, “Hey, Devone, come in here and look at this!"

Naively, I assumed she just had something interesting to show me, but when I came into the kitchen she turned around from the sink holding two revolting brown peach pits up to her eyes!

Of course, she nearly laughed her head off when I screamed my head off.

I’m not quite as warped (almost, but not quite) as my mom. Since my kids love fruit – apples, berries, oranges, bananas, grapes, you name it – I realized that I have been selfishly depriving them the opportunity to make their own decisions regarding The Dreaded Peach.

Because I never allow them in my house, let alone search them out in the produce aisle, the girls are very limited when it comes to peach exposure.

Against my better judgment, I decided to bite the bullet/peach last week. On a whim, while I was at Sam’s Club, I bought a box of white peaches. (They seemed less threatening than the peach-colored ones, for some reason). I brought them home and watched as my kids slurpily devoured them, skins and all.

The next day, I found myself home alone. Cleaning out the dishwasher and minding my own business, my gaze came to rest upon the one solitary peach remaining on the premises.

It seemed to taunt me, staring up from its unassuming cardboard box. It was me against the peach. Woman versus fruit. I decided that I must prove my dominance over this tree-scourge.

I took it in my hand, drew in a deep breath, raised it to my lips, and took a bite.

Well, it didn’t kill me.

It was actually a bit anticlimactic.

I think my girls realize that I tend to be somewhat melodramatic; they seem relatively worry-free about my fruit fears. As a matter of fact, they are awaiting my next trip to Sam’s, since the peaches have long since run out. Maybe I’ll go this weekend.

In case you were wondering, though – the peach that I ate did not live up to the hype. But I'm open to the idea that it may have been psychological.


from my 7/24/11 article for www.mentorpatch.com

Joy Boy

Jedidiah is the most joyful baby boy in the whole world! Seriously, his little chubby, joyful, one-toothed smile is just BRILLIANT. He lights up the room. The way he peeks out of his little carrier, the way he smiles a shy smile, then cracks his whole face open in a giant smile and reaches his chubby hands out to grab your face or your hands...he is just a JOY. I can't describe him any other way. People actually stop what they are doing, wherever we are, to come over and talk to him and exclaim over his friendliness, beauty, and general unbelievable cuteness! I am so blessed to be his mommy.

Can I Be Your...

This week we have Bible Day Camp at church. It's a fun week for the kids, but it is steaming HOT at church, since there's no AC. Nothing like 60 kids plus 20 teens and adults packed together in a tight, breezeless space to make you melt into oblivion.

Anyway, enough about that. This year, Adelaide got to go to class ALL BY HERSELF. She was a little clingy at first, but once class started she was fine. Sadie and Josie are in different classes this year (which is probably a good thing). When I left them after singing "I want to walk, walk like Jesus," they were all set for an exciting day until I returned to pick them back up 3 hours later. Jedidiah and I went to the grocery store, he had a nap, and I did some reading. Then right as we were pulling back into the parking lot, my phone rang. It was one of the camp coordinators. She said that they had a situation, and I immediately said, "Oh no, did Adelaide have an accident?" She said, "Actually, it's your oldest... she's in the bathroom crying..." I parked and gave Jed to Miss Sue, then ran in to check on poor Sadie, who had had a bit of an accident. With tears in her little eyes and a pink, streaky face, she sat sniffling on the bench in the women's bathroom. I gave her a hug and in typical Sadie fashion she said, "Mommy, what began as a perfectly wonderful day at Bible Day Camp has turned into a nightmare!"

Once she calmed down we returned for the remainder of the first day. We took Bodhi and Gwendolyn home with us, and on the way, silly Adelaide kept saying, "OH BO-DHI! Can I be your GIRL-friend?" He kept laughing and said, "You are only 2 or 3 years old!" She said, indignantly, "I am THREE, so can I be your GIRL-friend? I can be your GIRL-friend, or can I be your TIN-MAN?"

And Now it's time for The Show!

It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights … it’s time to get things started at the Lansing house tonight!

If you have kids, you have undoubtedly been to “A Show.” I don’t mean a movie or a play. No, I’m talking about “A Show” – one that involves your child performing something and you being the unwitting (and sometimes unwilling) member of the audience.

As I prepare to make dinner, I hear the familiar announcement: “Come on, Mommy! It’s time for The Show! Here’s your ticket. Have a seat. The show is about to begin!”

Indeed. The Show is definitely getting started. In makeshift dressing rooms set up in three corners of the living room, the stars of The Show adorn themselves.

Performer Number One wears a neon green swimsuit and black patent leather tap shoes. Performer Number Two wears a baby blue leotard with white and pink-striped socks (to expedite sliding on the hardwood floor). Performer Number Three, the shortest of the bunch, sports a hot pink tutu, a Tinkerbell T-shirt and bare feet.

The Show begins with Performer Number One’s dance solo. The audience (that is, me) is forced to hum the theme from Star Wars while watching her jump and turn half-cartwheels. She isn’t bad, but it’s hard to take her seriously when she trips on the edge of the recliner and says, “That’s part of it. That was part of it!”

Next, Performer Number Two does her routine. She sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star while she does the hula. She inadvertently cracks herself up when in the middle of her song, she interjects an extra (original) line containing the word "poop."

The third act begins with Performer Number Three standing on her tiptoes. She spins around, rolls her eyes back in her head belts out: “Somewhere over de wainbow, way up high, somewhere over the wainbow, birds and bluebirds high! Thank you! Thank you vewy much!”

I clap. I hoot and say “Encore! Encore!” though I don’t really mean it. I need to make dinner.

But we aren’t done yet, are we? When there’s a captive audience, A Show must go on.

As a finale, all three performers take the stage at the same time. Observing the size of our living room, I have to question the wisdom of this decision. I’m informed that “it’s OK because we already rehearsed.”

I cannot really describe the spectacle that ensues, but I will give you the highlights: Performer Number Two is inadvertently kicked in the arm by the flying left foot of Performer Number One. Performer Number Three twirls one too many times and dizzily smashes into the coffee table, nearly toppling the TV in the process. Performer Number One gracefully bows with a flourish and announces, “And now, we will conclude with me doing The Splits!”

She attempts The Splits, while Numbers Two and Three pose on either side of her, balancing precariously on one foot and waving their hands madly in the air.

I have to hand it to them. I was entertained.

I guess tonight it was dinner and a show.


From my July 17th article for www.mentorpatch.com

Talking bout My Girl

Adelaide, talking about anything small and/or new: Hey, dat's my newborn dress. Dat's your newborn brush. Is that your newborn doll?

Mommy: Adelaide, you are my girl!
Adelaide: Oh no I not! I am my OWN SELF's girl!

Adelaide, throwing her arms around my neck and giving me a hug: I love you, Mom! Now go and make me some breakfast!

Fun on the Fourth

I’ve always loved the Fourth of July.

There’s just something about the smell of summer in the air – steaks on the grill, hot pavement and freshly mowed grass. As a child, I loved to watch the heat lightning flash across the dark as I rode to town in the back of my daddy’s burgundy pickup truck to watch the fireworks with my cousins and friends.

I loved the sizzling sound they made as they rocketed upward and blossomed in the night sky.

On morning of the Fourth, my family looked forward to a long day of "doing nothing" followed by a night of fun, friends and fireworks.

We ate waffles, made Oreo cookie cake to share at the evening’s cookout and splashed in the kiddie pool. (Even the dog was not exempt.)

We watched my husband and his cousin put up a swing in our (very tall) tree, played with neighborhood kids and rode bikes, tricycles, scooters and power wheels (powered mainly by feet.)

Just before noon, sweet lilting notes came floating through the air across the neighborhood streets. Wonder of wonders! It was the ICE CREAM TRUCK!

After seeing the mixed look of joy, panic, hopefulness and frenzy on the kids’ faces, I broke the cardinal “no ice cream before lunch rule” and told Sadie to grab $4 from the jar on my dresser.

She came back like a flash, slamming the door and waving a fistful of dollars in the air, yelling, “I didn’t have time to count so I just grabbed it all!”

As if they were following the Pied Piper, the kids headed to the curb to pick out an ice cream (I made them choose from the $1 menu.)

We ended up with a watermelon popsicle, a bubblegum pop, a cotton candy freeze and one Bomb Pop. The girls were thrilled with their unexpected frozen treats, and I was thrilled because you just can’t get much more American than the ice cream truck on the Fourth of July.

We took turns flying through the air on the new swing. Between squeals and shrieks of delight, we could hear the pop-pop-pops in the distance of someone down the street getting a head start with their firecrackers.

We ate hotdogs and marshmallows roasted over our new and improved fire pit. We spent the evening with friends, new and old. We caught lightning bugs, squirted the water hose and went barefoot. We whirled with sparklers and caught the little parachute guys that fell from the exploding fireworks above us.

We flew our flags and wore red, white and blue.

When my girls said their prayers that night, they gave thanks that we live in America. Without any prompting from me, they bowed their little heads and gave thanks that we are free.

The law may not allow my kids to ride in the back of a pickup truck the way I used to, but I think they will still grow up to love the Fourth of July.


-From my article on July 10, 2011 for www.mentorpatch.com

Say Cheese

Last night we went to Lowe's and while we were in the garden center, we looked around at all the fountains. The girls love fountains! When we got back to the car, Adelaide said, "Oh no, I forgot my purse! And it had my moneys in it to throw, to throw, to throw into de fountain! And I wanted to make a wish wif it!" I asked her what she would wish for, and she said, "Gold! I would wish for TWO golds!" Sadie, from the back seat, piped up, in true Sadie fashion, "I would wish for peace and love." Josie, however, said, "I would wish for CHEESE!"

Separation Anxiety

Last week Sadie and Josie went to a weeklong day camp offered by the City of Mentor. Unless you count The Eagle’s Nest at the supermarket, it was the first time they had ever been left alone by me with people that I don't really know. They were just a little bit apprehensive, since I had explained that I’d be dropping them off each day instead of staying there with them.

I have to admit that even though I did my homework on the camp itself, the leader of said camp and the history of the programs the city offers, I was still somewhat of a nervous wreck the first day.

We got up early, had a protein-laden breakfast and got everyone loaded into the car. As I buckled their little sister and baby brother into their respective car seats, I went over the checklist with Sadie and Josie.

“Shorts and T-shirt?” “Check.”

“Sunscreen and bug spray?” “Check.”

“Water bottle with your name on it?” “Check.”

“Snacks and ponytail holders?” “Check.”

On the way there, I must have told them 20 times not to leave their class for ANY reason. To stay WITH their class at ALL times. To ONLY talk to their teacher and counselors and fellow campers. To ONLY go potty during designated potty breaks.

Once we arrived and I checked them in, they deposited their water bottles and approached the group forming in the grassy field. Tentatively, they checked out all of the potential new friends. Some kids were crying for their moms; one little girl was actually holding on to her mother’s leg like you see in cartoons.

My girls seemed to have no problem with leaving me once they saw the soccer balls and water balloons. They each gave me a kiss and a hug and bounded away through the dewy grass to await instructions from someone in charge.

I’m glad that they don’t suffer from separation anxiety, but as I left them with the whistle-wielding instructor, the giggling bunch of kids and the harried counselors, it was difficult. Not for them, though. For me.

I turned back to look at them, standing there on the sidelines of the soccer field and bouncing from one foot to the other. Josie reached over and took Sadie’s hand. Seeing them there, I watched from a distance as these two little people – people that I grew in my own body, under my own heart – existed and did just fine and dandy without me. I felt an actual ache inside. The ache was somewhere in the vicinity of my heart. It’s silly, I know.

Each day was a little better than the one before, and by the end of the week, we had successfully developed a routine. The girls had a blast and I (though still kind of nervous each day as I drove away) was able to leave not only the parking lot but actually drive down the street!

Now, camp is over. They learned, they made friends, they had fun. We made it through.

And I think I’m more proud of myself than I am of them.


From my July 3, 2011 article for www.mentorpatch.com

Josie and Adelaide... whaddya say?

Josie: This is the best day ever. Wait, EVERY day is the best day ever!

Adelaide: I don't like zucchini. I don't like squash. I don't like carrots. I don't like lettuce. Mommy: What vegetable DO you like? Adelaide: I like waffles.

Josie, disgusted with life because she didn't get to wear makeup and some crazy outfit she picked out, said, "Life isn't supposed to be miserable!"

Grammie Gail brought Adelaide a new (to her anyway) purple car that you pedal with your feet. It was a big hit. Even Sadie tried to squash her long lanky legs into it. Yesterday, Josie, desperate to give it a try, was trying to bribe Adealaide to get out of it. She said, "PLEASE, Adelaide! I will give you some candy!" Adelaide, ever the suspicious one, narrowed her eyes and said, "What kind of candy do you have?" Josie thought for a second. "Blueberry! Blueberry is delicious! I'll give it to you if I ever have some!"

Today, Josie had dibbs on the little splash pool. She was having a good old time "waveboarding" with the plastic lid of the Little Tikes toybox. Adelaide decided SHE needed a turn. Josie said (I think in retribution for yesterday's purple car scenario), "Addie, would YOU like a turn? Would you?" Adelaide said, "YES!! I want a TURN! and you can ride in my car ALL DAY!"

The Older the Better

Sadie, bemoaning the fact that she is the oldest and has to help take care of her siblings, was trying to find the bright side. "I guess it's good that I get to stay up late sometimes, and I get to do lots of things first," she said, "Like watching Star Wars, for instance, and stuff like that....But one thing that is BAD is that I will also have to DIE first."

Squishy

Jedidiah is pretty much the cutest baby ever. And he is SO GOOD. He is a happy, bubbly, gurgling, squealing, smiling, chubby, bundle of CUTENESS. The other day I wrote him a letter:

Dear Baby Jedidiah,
Please stop getting cuter every day, because you are already so cute that I can barely stand it.
Love, Mommy

I find it hard not to squish him! He makes me so happy every day...just to see how glad he is to be alive every morning, and how happy he is to see me. What a gift he is :)

Camp

This week Sadie and Josie went to Junior Sports Camp at a park close to our house. Other than Safety Town, it was the first time they'd ever been left ALONE by me with people that I don't know. Let me just say that I was somewhat of a nervous wreck when I left there on the first day. I must've told them twenty times not to leave their class for ANY reason... to stay WITH their class at ALL times... to ONLY talk to their teacher and counselors and fellow campers. Still, when I drove away, leaving them there with their canteens, their sunscreen, their bugspray, their t-shirts, their shorts, and their tennis shoes, it was hard. I turned back to look at them, standing there on the sidelines of the soccer field, holding hands, and I felt an actual ache in my heart. Silly, I know. But still!

BOOOOO!

Sadie and Josie have taught their sister well. Last week Adelaide literally almost scared me to death. I had gone to the store and left the kids home with my mom. When I got back, I pulled into the garage and came in through the utility room door. When I opened the door to come into the dark utility room, Adelaide, who had been hiding, CROUCHED IN THE DARK BEHIND THE DOOR, jumped out from behind it and yelled "BOOOO!" at the top of her lungs. I nearly peed my pants.

Thanks a lot

Mommy: Josie, come and snuggle with me!
Josie: Mom, I really do love you, but I just want to watch a cartoon.

Mommy: Adelaide, do you know what peace is?
Adelaide: Yeah, Mom. A peace of bread.

Mommy: Josie, would you like some apple juice?
Josie: Nah... Not a big fan.

Mommy: I'm feeling much better lately.
Sadie: Yeah, you really do play outside with us more, you don't take as many naps, and you don't have as many headaches, either! This eating healthy thing is good!

Mommy: C says "ck," like "candy."
Adelaide: Do you have some candy?
Mommy: No.
Adelaide: Thanks a lot, Mom.

Scootin' into Summer

It’s 7:30 on an evening in early June. The sun, which we welcomed once it finally showed up, is now descending.

The heat, coupled with the mild breeze off the lake, has turned our neighborhood into what feels like the Ohio version of the West Indies.

Summer seems to have finally arrived, and my family decides to go for a walk.

I load Jedidiah into the stroller, taking extra care not to pinch his chubby little hands in the buckle since he’s trying to grab everything these days. I pull the little socks off his feet so he can relax and “air out” his pink toes.

There is a discussion of walking versus “scooting,” that is, riding on a scooter. It is decided that Daddy will walk with the dog, Mommy will walk with the stroller and the three girls will scoot on their scooters.

They “suit up,” since there is no way I’m letting them ride anything out on the street without some head protection. They are my kids, after all, and I’m the world’s biggest klutz. I secretly wish that they’d wear their bike helmets around the house, especially on our slippery kitchen floor.

Sadie puts on her new purple helmet with the pink rubber cat ears sticking out on top. She says she feels a little bit silly in it, but I think it’s the cutest thing ever! She should consider herself lucky – I almost bought the one with the long bunny ears. She hops on her scooter and spins off down the driveway.

I remember when she couldn’t stay upright for more than a few feet. Now she can fly on that thing! She easily catches up to her dad, who has gone on ahead with the puppy. She screeches to a stop (as much as a scooter can screech) next to them at the stop sign.

Adelaide, four years younger but not to be outdone, holds on tight to her little three-wheeled Princess scooter (complete with flashing red lights on the wheels), a hand-me-down from two Christmases ago. She bends her already skinned-up knees and throws caution to the wind as she tries to catch up with Sadie; I’m glad she’s so short that she doesn’t have far to fall.

Josie decides to go back in the house for one more sip of water, so we are last. I watch as she carefully puts one flip-flop clad foot on her fancy pink Razor scooter. She stops and “dismounts” to push when she gets to the bottom of the driveway, completely unashamed that she’s scared to go over the bump where it meets the street the way her big sister does.

She just shrugs, grins, straightens out her little helmet by smacking it with her hand, looks both ways and takes off. I hear her voice channeling Tweety Bird as she rolls down the street: “Singin ' in the baff tub, happy once again, watchin' all my twubbles, go swingin' down the dwain!”

As I maneuver the stroller to catch up with the rest of my family, Jedidiah is kicking his little feet like crazy. He leans his fuzzy head over the side of the stroller tray to get a birds’ eye view of the pavement rolling by under the wheels. He squeals an ear-splitting squeal – his trademark of sheer joy (or sometimes of major annoyance, depending on whether or not he’s hungry) and says “Goo!” I laugh.

I see my husband, holding on to the dog’s leash and watching to make sure everyone checks traffic. I see Sadie and Josie, goofing off and doing figure eights around each other. Josie is laughing, her whole face alight with 5-year-old joy. Sadie is hunkered down over her scooter handles, one lanky leg stretched straight out behind her – I never knew you could practice an arabesque on a scooter.

Adelaide is puffing along, trying to catch up to them. Looking over her shoulder, she decides to stick with me and her baby brother instead, since we are going more her speed. She says, “Woo wee, Mommy. I am HOT, Mom! And I am going very fast! I like this scooter but I do not like this helmet.”

I’m hot too, and the stroller isn’t getting any lighter. But right now, the summer beckons. It stretches out before us, full of possibility. So let’s all scoot!

-from my Mama Says column for 6/12/11 on www.mentorpatch.com

She's Killin' Me

Adelaide is seriously cracking me the heck up these days.

The other day, we were riding in the car and I hear her little voice behind me, talking really low but MEAN. She said, "You guys are NOT being vewy nice. You need to just stop it. I said to STOP IT WIGHT NOW." I asked her who she was talking to. She said with a grin, "My shoes. My flip-flops. One shoe is a boy and one shoe is a girl and they are my kids. And they are NOT being vewy nice."

Last week, we were sitting at the kitchen table when Lydia came in for work. Adelaide glanced up, looked back down at her breakfast, and muttered in her low little voice: "And THEN there was Lydia...."

That very same day, Jedidiah was drooling up a storm. His teeth are on the verge of coming in, and the drool is now saturating everything he wears (and some things he's not). Adelaide, unable to resist her brother's cuteness, finally laid a big smooch on him and said, "I kissed him on he's dirty mouf!"

Yesterday, we read the story of Swan Lake and, mesmerized, she kept talking about it for hours. Unfortunately, while she remembered the plotline, she could not remember the TITLE. She renamed the story "The Magic Duck."

Today, when I told her it was almost naptime, she squinted up her nose and eyes, looked at me and said, "Humph! I not takin a nap for the WEST of my WIFE!"

Do You Know?

Last Sunday Jesse was sick and we all overslept (mainly because Jed had me up three different times and since Jesse was sick I turned the alarm off). So we missed our church's Sunday School. The kids really don't like to miss Sunday School, so I loaded them up and took them to "Children's Church" at a church that is literally 2 minutes from our house (our church is half an hour away). They had a good time and really seemed to enjoy it, but the teacher in Sadie's class gave her a little welcome packet with a pen, some candy, and some literature in it. You can imagine how I laughed when I heard her reading to Josie in the backseat:

"Josie. Hey, Josie. Josie. Do YOU know what you must do to be saved? Do you? Josie. Look at this. Do you know what you must do?"

Josie, annoyed, and trying to look at her OWN welcome packet, finally yelled, "NO! NO, I do NOT!"

Things I love These Days:

How Adelaide says, "Pull the covers over my head!" when she's getting ready to go to sleep and how when she wakes up in the morning she stumbles into my room with a big smile and a "Good morning, Mommy!"

How Jedidiah plops the first two fingers of his left hand into his mouth as soon as I put him down in his crib. If I pull them out, he S..L..O..W..L..Y plops them right back in again! I also love how he leans his head ALL the way over to the side when he's trying to get a good look at someone and how he snuggles his little head down into my shoulder when I'm carrying him.

How Josie loves to work on her schoolwork... she's so determined to know everything now! She practices her reading until she gets it all right. She writes crazy big words like "scientifically" on her schoolwork, even though she has no idea how to spell them. She carefully copies down the biggest, hardest words she can find. She loves figuring things out and she helps around the house like crazy. She is so thoughtful and proactive!

How Sadie likes to 'mommy' Jedidiah and Adelaide. Without my even asking her, I'll find her snuggling them, reading books to them, helping her sister wash her hands or put on her shoes, or helping Jedidiah get his rattle or wipe drool off his chin. She's such a good big sister. :)

The Simple Things

I am sitting in my sunny kitchen, looking out the window, watching my children as they run around on their strong sturdy little legs, “Tag! You’re it!” Their voices float back through the warm afternoon.

For the moment, I’m not afraid that they’ll be kidnapped, or run over, or shot in a drive-by shooting. I’m not scared that they may have some debilitating disease yet to be discovered. I don’t worry that missiles may be dropped on our yard or that a terrorist may set off a bomb down the street. My children are safe. They are happy playing tag, eating Popsicles in their swimsuits, yelling back and forth at their cousins who have come over to play. They are stomping in puddles, drinking from the hose, squishing their toes in the mud.

They are experts in the field of enjoying simple pleasures.

I think to myself how often I take these little things for granted. Every day I can hear the birds singing. Every day I can hear my little girl calling “Ready, set, go!” I can hug my family. I can call my friend just to say "hi."

Not everyone can.

I look out at the blue sky, I see the dandelion fluff floating through the air, my little girl's chubby cheeks, her brilliant smile. I snuggle my baby boy closer to my heart, smelling the sweet baby smell of his hair.

Not everyone can do that.

Too often, I forget to "stop and smell the roses." Too often, I forget that each moment is a gift. I am guilty of feeling that I deserve these things. I feel entitled.

I am not.

This week I got terrible news from a friend who is just my age. She was just diagnosed with a terrifying medical condition; she has a little girl the same age as my Adelaide. This week my father-in-law had a stroke, which could’ve easily been fatal.

Life is fragile. In the blink of an eye, all that we know and love can change.

We aren’t guaranteed one more day.

Healthy legs to run and play. Healthy arms for reaching to the sky, for reaching to hug someone we love. Healthy eyes to see, healthy ears to hear. A safe yard to play in, a family to love and be loved by. A police force to keep the peace. A trash collector to haul away the garbage so my yard is clean. A husband who can pay the bills so we can live here. A country where I am free to raise my kids the way I see fit, to worship God the way I choose. A blessed life.

I guess I had somehow forgotten, but these recent events have helped me remember. Now I remember:

I am thankful.

-From my May 28th article for www.mentorpatch.com

Adelaide is Three

Tomorrow my baby girl will be 3 years old.

Tonight I thought to myself that this was the very last night I would be tucking in my 2-year-old Adelaide. The last time I’d be singing her 2-year-old self the special bedtime song I made up for her when she was a newborn.

I looked at the framed portrait of her on her first birthday, with her little shark-fin hairdo, her mischievous little impish grin. I can’t believe that her baby years have gone by so fast.

I remember the way I felt when they put her in my arms for the first time at Lake East hospital.

I was weak, tired and still drugged from my C-section, but her rosebud lips and sweet chubby cheeks were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. (Well, since my other two babies were born, anyway.) I felt a fierce, protective love for her immediately.

Life with her since then has been so much fun – she makes me laugh every day with her low, elfin voice, her constant questions and her repetitive use of my name:

“Mom, did you see that, Mom?” “Mom, will you dance with me, Mom?” “Hey, Mom, can I have a cookie, Mom?” “Thanks, Mom! Mommy, thanks!” “Mom, good morning, Mommy! Did you have a good nap? “Oh, Mom, I love ya, Mom!” “Mommy, you are the best mommy!”

There are random things that I love about the 2-year-old Adelaide: the way she refuses to sleep without the covers up over her head. The way she wears her red sparkly “Dorofee” shoes everywhere she goes. The way she asks, “Can I give you a kiss and a hug?” before she throws her little arms around my neck. The way she puts her little hand in mine when we walk to the mailbox. The way she rolls, then squinches up her eyes and grins a sideways smile. The way she sings “What would I do wifout you?” at the top of her lungs in the car. The way she drops everything to “shake it” when she hears music start to play. The way she shadows me all around the house, “helping” in her own little 2-year-old way, informing me that “Mommy, I’m following you, Mom!”

She’s growing up as fast as she can, running as fast into her future as her little legs can carry her. For now, she’s always the last one to finish the race; she’s always tripping and getting boo-boos and running to me to “Kiss this boo-boo, Mommy! Kiss it Mom!”

I know she’s ready to be 3, and she’s so excited about her birthday party and her “pink cake wif a star on top.”

Though I will always cherish my sweet baby girl, my chatterbox 2-year-old, I can’t wait to find out what joys her next year will bring.

-from my Mama Says column on www.mentorpatch.com

Worms

Worms. Just saying the word gives me the willies.

I was never an avid fisherman (fisherwoman, I should say) since the only time I can remember my daddy taking me fishing was at a little pond close to our house.

We were fishing for carp, and to my 8-year-old self, it seemed like we were there in the dusty red-dirt heat for HOURS. It was one of those places common in the South where you could pay to fish, and the person who catches the biggest fish wins a prize.

He made me put my own worm on the hook, and well, frankly, that squishy/crunchy sound was just disgusting. After what seemed like an eternity when I could be home with my fashion-plates art set or my Pound Puppies, I finally, FINALLY got a bite. The thrill of reeling it in made the nasty worm-touching almost worth it!

It was a little fish – probably no more than six inches long, but I got one! I was so excited! I jumped up and down and grabbed it, ready to toss my floppy prize into my bucket. Well, to my dismay and ultimate fury, I learned that at this particular pond, you were supposed to throw your fish back into the water after it was measured. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? All that time wasted for nothing! I was furious. Needless to say, fishing and the tools of the trade (i.e., worms) left a bad taste in my mouth, and I haven’t done it since.

The universe had other ideas, obviously, since I married a man who has lived to fish since his grandpa taught him how when he was a little boy. Now he spends his free time teaching our older two daughters how, and eventually our 2-year-old and our baby son will be out there on the lake with him, too.

I’m not sure if it’s their constant need for bait or what, but now, in a strange twist of fate, all three of my girls are fascinated with worms. Ugh.

Josie, who is 5, has an especially close relationship with these invertebrates. When it rains, she’s the first one outside to conduct rescue missions. She spares them from certain death in mud puddles. She picks them up between her thumb and finger and very carefully relocates them to higher ground.

She’s also very paranoid when she happens to find one out in the sun. “Get him in the shade, quick! Worms need moisture!”

Sadie doesn’t seem to care for worms on such a personal level, but she does collect them and put them into her little plastic beach pail for scientific purposes. Last week we read about worms and she used her captures to count their segments and figure out where their mouths and “tails” were. “Look, Mom! He pooped! Worm poop! Ugh! Worm poop is just dirt! Weird!”

Indeed.

Weird that my cute little princess-dress-wearing, flower-picking, fingernail-painting, fairy-wing-loving girly girls love worms.

Wormy, Squirmy, and Herman the Worman (from one of our favorite stories: “I’m Herman the Worman, and I like my squirmin’ and I like being close to the ground, boom boom!”), most of the specimens my girls catch have even been christened with names.

Adelaide, who isn’t even 3 yet, has now taken up the worm torch alongside her sisters. Each morning when she wakes up, she checks the weather out the kitchen window and says, “Can we wook for worms today? Under the wocks? Can we, Mommy?”

Maybe it’s the hunt – the mystery of finding out just what is out there under that big rock, or what’s under the surface of the water tugging on your line. Maybe it’s the gamble – the next shovelful of dirt will be the jackpot, or the next cast will land The Big One, I just know it!

Whatever it is, I personally don’t get the appeal.

Worms. Blech.

-From my May 22nd article on www.mentorpatch.com

What's Up Duck?

Adelaide took over reading the Bible for me at breakfast one morning. She turned the pages a little too hard for Sadie's liking: "Adelaide, you're being too rough on God's word!"
Adelaide looked all around her and said, "Hummpph. God's not here."

Recently introduced to the wonderful world of Looney Tunes, the girls can't get enough of Tweety, Sylvester, and the Wascally Wabbit. However, Adelaide can't ever seem to remember the particulars. She tells me on Saturday morning that she wants to watch Bugs Rabbit, then quips: "Eh...what's up, Duck?"

When we went to look for mattresses last week (Jesse's and my mattress is completely shot and we desperately need a new one... I wake up with a different backache every day, so hopefully a new one will alleviate some of the pain), Adelaide came across this stuffed animal sheep (the Serta Sheep) on one of the displays. Immediately, her finger went right into the sheep nostril and she sang out, "Hey, look! I'm picking he's nose!"

Not the End...

Sadie has taken to washing with her Daddy's bodywash whenever she's in the shower. She thinks it smells so good (it does) and she seems to feel like she's getting away with something whenever she loofahs it up! It's kind of disconcerting when she sits on my lap, though. She smells like Jesse!

When it was time to go inside after a day of playing outside, Sadie, true to her Grandma Beth's influence, spreads her arms wide and shouts to the sky, "Nature is MY playroom, Mommy!"

Josie has big plans which she confided to me. "Well, when I'm six, I'll be able to read, ride my 2 wheeler, and write stories all by myself...."

Jed did his first ever "zurbeck" on my arm, then laughed and looked mightly pleased with himself. :)

And, all in all, our family had a good day on the so-called end of the world day = a good day. We went on a family bike ride, Adelaide with her arm around Jed behind me in the bike trailer, Josie out in front doing it all by herself, Sadie going too fast and jumping the bumps in the broken sidewalk. Later we went to Geneva-on-the-Lake and had supper on the front porch of a little family restaurant. Later we played on the beach, finding pretty rocks, looking for beach glass, and Adelaide found a dinosaur bone (a big piece of smooth driftwood).

Mother's Day Gifts...

"What do you want for Mother’s Day?” my husband asked me. Since I had been hoping for just such an opportunity, I was prepared.

“I want to be left alone.”

“What?” He seemed surprised.

“I want to be left all alone. All day.” Knowing that this was actually impossible, since I’m still nursing 6-month-old Jedidiah, I amended my request to being left all alone except for the baby. I never dreamed it would happen.

I had already received three nice cards – one from my mom, one from my stepmom, and one from my mother-in-law. Sadie had colored a picture for me, Josie had given me a dollar that she had saved from the Tooth Fairy, Adelaide had given me a big hug with a smooch and Jedidiah gave me a night with a 7-hour stretch between feedings and a huge toothless smile.

Since all of those were such excellent gifts, the only thing that could top them was every mom’s secret wish: a day off.

This is something that never happens. Mom doesn’t get a day off. Even though it’s called Mother’s Day, it’s common knowledge that mom still has to cook, clean, take care of kids, and do lots of other “mom stuff” on that day, possibly in the presence of a nice vase of flowers.

So imagine my surprise (no, my unparalleled glee!) when we came home from church and my excellent husband rounded up the three girls, changed them into play clothes and herded them into the van, leaving me with just the baby.

(If you happen to be blessed with more than one child, you know that having “just the baby” at home is pretty much like being on vacation. This only happens after you have more than one, though. When you have just one, you wonder how anyone ever survives with more than one).

So. It happened. I somehow ended up at home “alone.”

Once I put Jedidiah down for his nap, the house was eerily quiet. What to do, what to do? I didn’t want to fritter away my time – each moment was like gold! Oh, the possibilities! Take a nap? Clean my closet? Watch TV? No one was asking for chocolate milk! No one wanted me to make a snack! No one was tattling about their mean sister or crying for a Band-aid!

After much deliberation, I finally decided to catch up on my scrapbooking while I watched an entire Dateline (no pausing to help anyone go potty) and drank a whole cup of tea without anyone asking for a sip of it (then proceeding to gulp down the whole thing). Ahh.

Next, I took a nap. Yep, on my own bed in the middle of the day, I took a blissful, uninterrupted nap for 47 whole minutes! No one pounded down the stairs! No one stood next to the bed and stared at me until I woke up!

When I did wake up, of my own accord, I called my own mom and we made a plan. Later, she picked me up and we dropped the baby off with my husband, who was over at my in-laws’ house.

It was an unprecedented event: I was child-free!

My mom and I went out to dinner (Damon’s was giving away long-stemmed roses to every mother), we went shopping and then we went to the movies all by ourselves!

Even though I kept feeling like I had forgotten something really important – you know, in the restaurant or in the theater – I finally realized that it was my children I was forgetting and I was able to relax. By the end of the night, I felt rejuvenated and recharged.

I felt ready to be Mommy again. It was a good thing, too, judging from the exhausted look on my husband’s face when I got home.

I hope your Mother’s Day was as great as mine.

-From my 5/15/11 post on www.mentorpatch.com

Mother's Day

One of the best gifts that my children give to me is laughter.

Most of the time it seems that they don’t even know why they send me into hysterical bouts of giggling, which makes it even funnier. In honor of Mother’s Day, here are some of the most precious gifts my little girls have given me over the past few years:

Sadie to her dad when he mentioned he was going to get rid of some worn-out clothing: “Oh, just give it to Mommy … she likes to wear old worn-out stuff.”

While eating vegetarian sushi, Josie decided she wanted to use chopsticks, too. She said, “Hey, Mommy. Can I have some of those… those… those rice tweezers?”

Mommy: “Don’t forget to help with the dishwasher, Josie. That’s on your chore chart, you know.” Sadie: “She doesn’t do that one anymore. She retired.”

Josie came into the kitchen in her fancy dress-up princess dress. She gave me a sly look, wiggled her eyebrows and said, “Hey, Mommy. Guess what? I’m naked under my clothes.”

Adelaide, when asked if she wanted a new little brother or a little sister, replied, “I want a train set.”

Josie’s version of a classic: “Get outta the way, Old Dan Tucker! You’re too late to get your sucker!”

Sadie, dressed in a hot pink hoopskirt and upset over some injustice wrought by one of her sisters, huffed and flounced out the room, saying, “I’m leaving! This is no place for a lady!”

After much adorning from the dress-up box and primping in front of the mirror, I was informed that the girls had, much like the Muppets, finally succeeded in “dressing up right.”

Josie, who has decided that her main job is to be the head of the family’s “safety patrol,” polices everyone to find out if they are wearing their seat belt. My favorite citation: “Hey, Daddy! Put on your seat belt! I am the Safety Troll!”

One afternoon Sadie said, “Mommy, Adelaide needs a bath. Usually she smells good. But today she smells like poop and throw-up.”

Josie asked if I would read her “the book about Choke-a-pontas. I mean, Hocus-pontas. Um, Poca-chantas. (Sigh) You know, that Indian.”

Sadie, after a backseat discussion with Josie regarding whether or not Adelaide could play dress-up with them once we got home: “Well, I suppose we could tie some pants around her neck and she could be Superman ...”

At church during prayer, Adelaide decided she needed a snack. I whispered that she could have a snack when prayer was over. As the person who was praying finished up, everyone said, “Amen.” Then Adelaide piped up, in her LOUD 2-year-old voice, “AMEN! SNACK!”

Adelaide stole Sadie’s cookie. Sadie yelled, “Hey!” Josie grabbed the cookie from Adelaide and handed it back to Sadie. Adelaide screamed. Josie said, “Well, it wasn’t yours.” Sadie said, “Yeah, but the Bible says thou shalt not snatch.”

And now, I shall bid you a Happy Mother’s Day in the timeless words of one of my daughters’ favorite bears: “Wokka, wokka, wokka!”

From my May 8th Mama Says column on www.mentorpatch.com

Beautiful Boy

Jedidiah is growing up too fast... he's already SIX months old! I'm trying to make him stay little... I have not been at all encouraging when it comes to sitting up or talking. :) This is why the babies of the family ARE the babies... the moms know that they are the last ones and they just want to hold and cuddle them all they can, because they know that they'll grow up too fast, just like their older siblings! I love just holding him, snugglng him, and making him smile. I want to squeeze his little cheeks pretty much all the time. He is pretty much the most beautiful boy that has ever been!

A couple of funny things: Adelaide's new favorite saying, "Oh no I will not, Miss Poo!" and after the Great Clothing Changeover of 2011, Sadie was so excited: "I got new clothes - I look like a teenager!"

The Good Old Days

“You are growing up so fast!” Sadie, my just-turned-7-year-old, says to her little sister Josie as she pedals down the driveway on her two-wheeler.

“You are getting so smart!” Josie, my 5-year-old, says to her little sister Adelaide as she proudly uses her big-girl potty.

“You are so big, my wittle bwudder!” almost-3-year-old Adelaide says to her almost-6-month-old baby brother as he grabs for his rattle.

My children are constantly noticing and commenting on the milestones that each one of them achieves. They celebrate together, high-fiving each other and giving themselves big pats on the back. Watching them learn, grow and change together is bittersweet.

Sometimes, Adelaide spends the morning cuddling in bed with her closest-in-age sibling, pulling the covers over their heads and giggling when he gives her one of his drooly grins. “You are my vewy favowite fwiend,” she declares, then kisses him on top of the head and gives him a squeeze.

Later, Josie holds him on her lap with pillows all around her (“just in case he wiggles away and I accidentally drop him, Mommy. I do not want him to bang his little head!”).

When she doesn’t know I’m looking, I catch her gazing at him with the same adoring look she gave him in the hospital the night he was born. It’s like she’s never seen anyone so wonderful in all her five years. It melts my heart.

Soon after, I overhear her ask Sadie, “Do you remember when you were 4 and I was 3 and Daddy used to pick both of us up at the same time, you know, one in each arm? (Sigh). Yeah, those were the good old days.” I laugh when I hear this, wondering how someone so young can already be talking about the “good old days.”

Sadie, who sometimes seems older than her years, agrees with her sister. Then she sits and stretches out her long legs so her baby brother can lie down on top of them. She holds his teeny hands in hers and coaches him on sticking out his tongue: “Did you see that, Mom? I taught him that!”

Proud of this accomplishment, yet dealing with some unfamiliar emotions, she confides that she doesn’t really want him to grow up. She says with a sigh that she still remembers when Adelaide was a little baby, and it makes her kind of sad. She says that years go by really fast, and she liked it when life was easier back when she was a baby. She says she wishes she could stay a kid forever.

Teary-eyed, I say “Me too.”

I admit that some days I want to hide in the bathroom with the door locked until naptime. But I am not ready for them to grow up! Not yet. With my sweet – and probably last – baby boy, I really want to make his baby-ness last. I feel the same as Sadie feels, even though I’m already a grown-up. Sometimes I long for how things used to be, for the way I used to feel when I was a little girl. I want to grasp every minute – every second – of their quickly passing childhoods.

I think about Josie changing her baby brother’s diapers (but not the poopy ones), Sadie helping to give him baths and Adelaide playing peek-a-boo with him. I think about how even though they are still little girls, they are already showing signs of maturity. Even though they don’t leave me very much to do with the baby except nurse him, I think of one more thing:

Cherish this.

This is my column for www.mentorpatch.com published on May 1, 2011.

Hale's Bales

Sadie, Josie, and I went to Hale Farm and Village last week and it was so interesting! We got a "Life in the 1800's packet" to study beforehand, so they learned several sayings of the day. Josie's favorites were "Spare the rod and spoil the dog" (oh wait - she changed that:) and "Pulled the wool over YOUR eyes!" She's tricked me several times since then and laughs and laughs about it.

We also learned to "make a courtesy" (curtsy), how to make butter, that log houses were mortared with poop, we made Johnnycakes (YUM), we built a farm - on paper, of course - and Sadie liked the saying "Bought the farm!" We did the entire packet, and they had NO idea that they were learning. I love that about homeschooling. They learned more in a couple of days that they will always remember than they would've in a classroom, I'm sure!

We had a great day hanging out with our little group (mainly Jasmine and Camille - those girls are FUNNY) and learning lots of neat stuff. Josie's favorite part was the teacher in the one-room schoolhouse. All of the girls were very impressed by the way she came around to inspect their hands to see if they were clean or not, and the way she did her lessons. They also liked the punishments! Girls had to stand against the wall with a book on their heads for 5 minutes; if the book fell off, she had to add another 5 minutes! Harder than it looks! The boys, however, had to "toe the line" and get swatted! Youch!

The weather was gorgeous, too... not too cold, not too hot. It was VERY muddy and we were thankful for our new rubber boots! Up until about 2pm we were having a great time, hitting all the educational spots like the dairy, the Indian camp, the potter's shed, the church, the doctor's house, etc. but then a major thunderstorm blew in and they closed the place down! We were disappointed that we didn't make it to the General Store or the Blacksmith Shop, but we're planning on going back for a private trip with Becky and James, Teagan, and Ireson sometime later this summer.

Hairy Situation

Seems like a lot of my thoughts that I used to get out while blogging are now getting out through another creative outlet: my weekly newspaper column. I am neglecting my blog for the first time in SIX YEARS! I feel bad about it, too. I must remedy the situation.

The other day Becky came over, and we decided that Jed is definitely going to have red hair like hers. She came up with the patent-pending "Becky-Toupee" idea, and so here you have a preview of what is to come:

Most Beautiful?

We enter a local restaurant for dinner. I see the look of panic in the cute little 20-something server’s eyes when I ask for a table for six, including a high chair and a sling for the baby’s car seat.

She definitely has her work cut out for her. Meanwhile, as someone who recently gave birth to a gigantic baby, I feel a bit self-conscious as we follow her skinny-jean-wearing self to the back corner of the room.

We play musical chairs, trying to decide where I can best “hide” to nurse the baby and who is going to sit by Adelaide, who is well-known for spilling drinks, spitting out half-chewed broccoli and generally being hard to get along with while at the table.

Unfortunately, the restaurant has a TV blaring in the corner. Since they become blank-eyed, staring zombies any time there is a television in their vicinity, I try to limit my kids’ television exposure. Tonight, we have no choice but to watch and listen.

My husband and I take turns at the salad bar while the girls get busy decorating their placemats with their crayons, stopping now and then to gaze at some random cleavage, some product that’s currently deemed sexy. I don’t want them to think those things are acceptable. Even though I feel insecure about my own appearance at the moment, I never want them to feel that way about themselves. I remember why I don’t let them watch TV.

I order “the usual:” three grilled cheese sandwiches and three orders of veggies for them. I decide to splurge and let them have sweet tea instead of their usual water with lemon.

A few minutes later, you can tell it’s us by the pile of grilled cheese crusts and melted ice on the floor, the pickle that landed two tables over, the screeching baby, the pile of jackets in the corner and the three tic-tac-toe covered kids’ menus on the table.

After filling a bowl up with peaches from the salad bar for the third time, I return to our table just in time to hear a loud TV announcement about The World’s Most Beautiful Woman.

My husband zones the girls in by waving his hand in front of their faces so they’ll glance away from the TV. He asks my daughters who they think The World’s Most Beautiful Woman is. Adelaide, the 2-year-old, says, “I am!” Sadie, the thinker, says, “I just don’t have any idea – let me think.” Josie, the emotional one, looks straight at me and says, “You are, Mommy.”

I look down at my spit-up stained, freshly drooled-on shirt, my yoga pants (my jeans still won’t fit since my last pregnancy), mismatched socks and ragged nails. I think of my frizzy, neglected hair, the bags under my eyes and the extra 30 pounds I still need to lose.

I smile, touched by Josie’s sweetness, by her unsolicited, immediate response to such a question.

I look over at the frazzled waitress as she brings over yet another stack of extra napkins. Thanks to us, she’s having a bad night. I wonder how she still looks like she just stepped out of a magazine.

But if my little girl thinks I am The World’s Most Beautiful Woman, then maybe I am.

From my April 17th article on www.mentorpatch.com

April Update

While playing with her Legos, Sadie must've switched over to her Sunday School lesson. She broke all her towers apart and yelled, "And then the Holy Spirit rained down on them!"

Sadie admonished one of her friends: "Do not stick your tongue out, that's almost like spitting, and people spit on Jesus when they were crucifying Him!"

Sadie, chanting: "I'm from the IRS! I'm from the IRS"
Josie, tired of hearing it: "Yeah, well, I'm from the USA!"

Josie to Sadie: "Remember when you were four and I was three and Daddy used to pick one of us up in each arm and carry us around? (sigh). Those were the days."

While listening to Josh Turner's country song, Josie asks, "Did he say MEAN God?" "No, no, I answered. It's Me AND God."

Adelaide, recalling her dip in the hot tub at Grandma Beth's: "And we were at Gwandma's and we got into her big baftub and she put bubbles in dere and I got bubbles up to my BEARD! You mean your chin? YEAH!"

Josie ordered ficken chingers at LongHorn.

Adelaide, with my breast pump apparatus on her head: "Look I'm the tin man!"

Jedidiah found his toes, is kicking his toys on his bouncy seat, grabbing hair and earrings, and drooling like a crazy man!

Adelaide's Song

Adelaide's Song

"I like to pee in the FLOOO-OOR...
Oh no I don't I'm just kidding
Twinkle twinkle little star...
Suck your thumb and dance with me
Quack quack, you're a fuzzyhead
And that's my SONG! The end!"

The Bike Lesson

“The first lesson that you have to learn when riding a bike is how to fall,” my husband explains to our 5-year-old daughter. “If you never fall – if you’re too afraid to fall – you’ll never learn how to ride.”

Buckling on her pink and purple Barbie helmet, she swings her little leg up and over her sparkly princess bike. She settles in for the ride, a determined look on her face.

She takes off down the driveway with her dad running along behind her, holding onto the back of her seat to give her extra balance. She likes the extra stability of knowing that he’s there.

He lets go when she least expects it.

She zooms along with a triumphant look on her face. “I’m doing it! I’m doing it!” she yells over her shoulder, making sure we’re watching. Suddenly she’s free. She’s flying, soaring, the wind in her hair.

Unfortunately that first beautiful taste of childhood freedom never lasts for long. Wobbly handlebars, teetering wheels and a crash on the sidewalk led to a skinned knee, a scraped knuckle and tears of embarrassment.

“Falling isn’t something to cry about or to be ashamed of. It’s part of learning,” her dad tells her as he checks to make sure she’s okay. “The next lesson that you have to learn is how to get back up. Every time you fall you can be one step closer to your goal, but only if you get back up.”

I think about those words. They apply to so many other things in life besides learning to ride a bicycle.

Sometimes people let go of us when we least expect it. Things don’t always turn out how we want them to. Sometimes our plans don't work out; sometimes our dreams end up as just dreams.

I think about the freedom, the joy, the exhilaration that comes along with growing up. I think about the crashes, the tears and the pain. We all fall sometimes.

And we all have to learn to get back up.

I don’t think her daddy realizes just how much he might be teaching her during this afternoon lesson. I don’t speak metaphorically to point this out. I don’t draw parallels for him, or tell him he’s like a wise old sage.

No, I don’t mention any of these things as she untangles herself, brushes the dirt off her hands, wipes her eyes and takes a deep, raggedy breath.

I just stand back and watch as she climbs back on.


From my April 10th article on www.mentorpatch.com

Unlucky Girl Makes Me Appreciate Simple Things

My fourth article from www.mentorpatch.com!

She talked of places she wished she had been – places she wished someone would have taken her – the zoo, the museum, the park.

The girl, we’ll call her Becca, recently turned 18 and therefore “aged out of the system,” leaving the safe haven of a school for abused, neglected, and underprivileged teens. When I learned her story last week, she was on the way back into her reality – a home that had been anything but a haven during her childhood years.

She wished for someone to bake cookies with her.

Instead, she was neglected by her mother, hungry, malnourished.

She dreamed of planting a garden outside in the fresh air.

Instead, she hid in a closet, trying to become invisible.

She wanted to learn to make clothes for her doll, maybe a dollhouse.

Instead, she learned that no place was permanent, no place was safe.

Now expecting her own child, she hopes for a new beginning. She believes those that hurt her in the past have changed. She believes she can create a better life for the child within her.

While Becca dreams of her future, I can’t help but think of her past – the little girl she could have been. The little girl she might have been. The little girl she should have been.

Will anyone take the time to teach this young woman how to be a mother? Will she break the cycle of neglect and abuse into which she was born?

As adults, and especially as parents, we are in a position of great power. But as we learned from Spider-Man, with great power comes great responsibility. Circumstances like Becca’s seem hopeless. There are so many who need our attention; there are so few hours in our day. Is there something – anything – we can do?

The world is full of opportunity.

I remember the story about the little boy who spent every morning throwing the starfish that washed up on the beach back into the ocean. A man saw his determination to finish such an endless, thankless task. He said, “You can’t save all of them. How can you possibly make a difference?” As he threw another starfish back into the water to live another day, the little boy said, “I made a difference to that one!”

Maybe we can’t make a difference to everyone. But can we make a difference to just one? Could we change the world for a little girl like Becca? Definitely.

When my 6-year-old asks to bake cookies in the kitchen, I’m inclined to think of the mess, of the chaos that will ensue. What I should think of is the opportunity I have to spend time with her.

When she asks me to dig in the dirt with her outside, I should jump at the chance, not complain about the mess all over the driveway. When she wants to learn to sew, I shouldn’t cringe at the thought of her wielding a needle – I should hold her in my arms and teach her.

These are simple things to us. But as I learned from Becca – not so far removed from the little girl she once was – the simple things might just mean everything.

Messy, Messy

My April 3rd article from www.mentorpatch.com

“Mommy! I peed in the bed!"

There’s nothing like that little declaration to jump-start your day. And so it begins.

"Mommy! I spilled the juice! I dumped my raisins in the couch! I have gum in my hair! I have mud on my pants! I got dog poop on my shoe! I have syrup on my hands! I have marshmallow on my face! I have cheese in my ear!” I have (fill in gross substance and various body part here)!

Recently, my 2-year-old managed to break a big bottle of cooking wine all over my kitchen floor. She was fine, and nobody got a boo-boo, but you can imagine the huge mess I had to clean up.

In addition to the sticky tile, the spill also left me with what smelled like a pint-size wino. I was somewhat concerned that we might encounter a policeman at the grocery store. Really, who wants the authorities to smell alcohol on their kid’s Garanimals?

On the other hand, she probably did me a favor because I had to clean it up. I used to be a neat freak. Back in the old days, you could eat off my kitchen floor. These days, you really could eat off my kitchen floor (because it contains the crumby equivalent of half a loaf of bread).

Since having my fourth child, I’m of the “clean only when absolutely necessary” mindset.

The only way my kitchen floor seems to get mopped these days is if one of my girls accidentally spills water on it and I have to wipe it up. I spread it around as much as possible, to create a two-foot "clean radius."

Sometimes I don’t even bend over to do it, much less scrub it on my hands and knees like my mom taught me. Throw a clean rag down to soak up the water, and let your foot do the wiping. If you’re coordinated enough, you can kick the damp rag in the air and catch it without ever having to bend over.

I guess I should put as much effort into actually cleaning as I put into thinking about ways to avoid it. But like all moms, I'm busy. I’m tired. I'm overscheduled. I'm in need of a nap.

Life with kids is messy. When you're someone like me who appreciates order and a set schedule (hey, I said I appreciate it, not that I actually achieve it), then the chaos (and dirt) that takes over when you have grubby little kids running around is a challenge. Kids get dirt on your clean floors. They drool on your shirt. They crumble on your bed. They get grape juice on the counter. They get Play-Doh in your carpet. They get (fill in anything icky and random area in your house here).

Love is messy, too, though. If it were too clean, too easy, it would be boring instead of exciting. Life, love, being a mom … it’s one big mess, isn’t it? But sometimes a big ol’ kiss from sticky little chocolate-milk-flavored lips makes the mountains of used paper towels worth it.

Um, Sweetie? Could you spill some of your water over here? There's a sticky spot on the floor.

Sadie is Seven!

On Sadie's actual birthday, (Jesse gave her a brand new pink bike in the morning - she's outgrown her other bike already) we all went out to El Rodeo as a family. Sadie got to wear the birthday sombrero, and Josie was super excited to give her a little pink tote bag with Starbursts inside. From us, she got some pink cowboy boots, her very own HUGE bath towel, new hot pink flip-flops, a fairy-flap book, a Rapunzel Barbie, and a Left Center Right game. We really had a fun time together there... it's definitely our favorite place to eat, even if there ARE six of us now!!

The following Saturday, we went to a tea room for her birthday party (she wrote out her invitations herself - cute!). We got all dressed up (even Daddy wore a coat and a hat), including ME - I wore gloves AND a big floppy hat. Sadie wore a little pearl colored dress with pearl trim and buttons, Josie wore a black, white, and pink dress (and her bear-bear wore a matching one) and Adelaide wore a white and blue dress with her new cute white and pink hat. We looked cute, if I do say so myself. The girls (all eight of them) sat at their very own table and were very ladylike with their very own china cups and a birthday cake shaped teapot. They had berry berry tea, double decker PBJ sandwiches, fruit kabobs, chips, cookie wands, and princess cupcakes. The food seemed to be a big hit, and it was so cute to watch all of them giggling and being "ladies" together.

Snippets

Adelaide and I went to Sam's Club and to run some other errands. By the time we we were almost finished, she was getting grumpy. I said, "I think you need a nap." She replied, "I do not need a nap. I need a donut."

Melissa and Caroline had an impromptu sleepover here last week while Josie was gone with Jesse to visit Uncle Les and Aunt Sharon in Maryland. I caught Sadie in the family room in the pink Princess chair, reading stories to Adelaide and Caroline, who were sacked out on the floor on pillows for "story-time." Josie, meanwhile, was having a blast during her "special Daddy time," checking out Les and Sharon's house, eating chicken wings and noodles, and picking Grandma up at the airport.

I cannot find the cute little blue stripey tobaggan that Grandma Beth bought for Jed ANYWHERE. It was really cold the other morning when we left to go to Bible Study, so I had to put his red and white striped pointy elf hat on (that Sarah got him at Christmas). Needless to say, he was a HUGE hit with the ladies in my group! He gets passed around most every week, but he looked extra cute in his elfey hat.

The three girls and I made pizzas for lunch last week. It's nice to have them all together in the kitchen with me, but since they all like to sit up on the counter, butt-space is at a premium! They love eating the teeny little pepperonis off the pizzas, just like Angela and I used to do.

Last week, I did a Facebook/email fast day to go along with 40 Days for Life. It was MUCH harder than I thought it would be to unplug myself from the world! Now when I tell Sadie to unplug (her thumb) I think I will feel a little more empathetic.

Crimes moms commit: Purgery - stuffing broken toys into a trash can and sneaking it out to the curb. I need to commit more purgery!!!

On Jesse's birthday, we went out while Grammie watched the kids for us. He decided to give ME a present on his birthday: a restaurant with an Elvis impersonator! I took their picture together (he also got photo-bombed by a guy sitting behind us, who I asked what he thought he was doing?! when he got up to leave :). My picture caption: Elvis with a Jesse impersonator. You can tell it's not really him becuase he's got on a Detroit Lions shirt.

Josie started going to golf lessons with her Daddy a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, she's a natural! He says she has a natural follow through, which coupled with her left-handedness, makes her a mini-pro. Who knows? Maybe she'll be a Tigress Woods one day (minus the creepy parts, of course).

I asked Adelaide, who was dressed up in a ballerina tutu, if she could be any cuter, and she said, "Nope!"

Reminisce

I can't believe that my first baby, my sweet Sadaroo, is going to be SEVEN tomorrow. SEVEN! It seems like just yesterday, we were bringing her home from Davis Hospital, a tiny little thing in a pink and yellow jacket. I was TERRIFIED when Jesse pulled onto I40 next to a tractor trailer. Her life seemed so fragile - I couldn't stand to think that we were so helpless and she was completely in my hands to protect! It was the longest car ride of my life! Tonight, when I hugged her goodnight, I realized that it was the last time I would ever hug my SIX-Year-old Sadie. Sigh. She's growing up so fast, and I love her so much.

Please stay little
Just a little while longer
Don't grow up so fast
Pleast stay little
Just a little while longer
I want this moment to last.

Ask Adelaide Why

and she will answer:

Cause I do.
Cause I am.
Cause I was.
Cause I wasn't.
Cause I did.
Cause I didn't.

Storytime

My third column from www.mentorpatch.com - this one made me cry. Seriously - I'm such a sap.

"Just one more, Mommy?" Josie asked as we sat in the rocking chair in her room.

"Please?" We had already read two stories, and it was time for bed.

I love those just-bathed, damp-haired, sweet-smelling, teeth-brushed, pajama-wearing moments when my girls climb onto my lap and snuggle in for a good story.

It takes me back to when I was a little girl and my daddy used to read to me every night. Since he worked long hours, bedtime was our special time together. More than the stories themselves, I remember the safe, happy feeling of being held on his lap in our old, bright orange ‘70s-era rocking chair.

I hope my girls will remember the feeling, too.

Sometimes they know the stories better than I do. They can quote Goodnight Moon or The Foot Book word for word. Sometimes I share one of my childhood favorites like Scuffy the Tugboat or Sylvester and the Magic Pebble. (I still have practically every book I’ve ever owned – I can't bear to part with them. They are like old friends).

Sometimes they try to convince me to read Love You Forever, a story about a mommy who sneaks in and watches her child sleeping at night as he grows up before her eyes. This book brings me to tears by the third page every time I read it. For some reason, my girls think it’s funny to see Mommy sniffling into a tissue and bawling like a baby.

Sometimes they get to choose from The Library Bag, which we usually restock every week or two. They dig through the bag like they're hunting for treasure.

They always find it.

We laugh together at Papa Bear's misadventures. We cry together when Laura Ingalls' old bulldog, Jack, dies. We sleepily whisper sing-song lullaby stories to each other. I realize that we are sharing more than just a book.

Now I know why my daddy took that special time to read with me. Soon my girls will be able to read their own stories. Soon they will be too big to sit on my lap. Soon they will be busy with things deemed more important than tonight's all-important bedtime story.

I look at Josie's rosy cheeks, the hopeful look in her eyes. I say, "OK, just one more."

Or maybe two.

Mean Old Mommy

My second column for www.mentorpatch.com was conveniently about our LONG LONG LONG (and long-awaited) trip to North Carolina.

"Can I hava snack? Can I?"

"Did you see dat? Did you?"

"Is my baby brudder sweeping? Is he?"

Two-and-a-half-year-old Adelaide decided to see how many questions she could ask before I went bonkers during our trip to North Carolina to visit family.

Sadie, 6, and Josie, 5, have been making this trip since they were born. They listened to their Little House on the Prairie CDs, trashed the back seat, sang songs, played with the dirty gravel they painstakingly chose from the Bob Evans parking lot, practiced their Southern accent ("over yonder," "I caint!" and “don’t pull my hay-urh!”), worked some dot-to-dots and then conked out, drooling on their pillow pets. They learned long ago how to make the best of the situation.

I, however, learned something new this trip: traveling with four kids is hard. Since I'm still nursing my 4-month-old – it's almost impossible to breast-feed at 75 miles an hour – what should've been eight hours turned into 10.

Whoever said getting there is half the fun obviously never had very much fun when they got there.

After 13 trips to gas station potties, two juice box explosions, a headache, three fights, one finger mashed in a window and a trail of goldfish crackers on the floor of the minivan, I turned into what my kids call "Mean Old Mommy."

Mean Old Mommy decreed mandatory quiet time until we counted 20 green highway signs. Mean Old Mommy refused to turn off Amos Lee in favor of the more popular Artist Currently Known as Raffi. Mean Old Mommy chewed gum and did not share. Mean Old Mommy is, well, mean.

Four-month-old Jedidiah's one major crying fit just happened to coincide with the beginning of everyone else’s nap. His feeding postponed by 15 minutes because of a missed exit, my sweet little boy retaliated against my starvation tactics with eight minutes of crying, four minutes of wailing, and three minutes of "What kind of a mother are you?" in baby language.

All the racket meant that chatty Adelaide slept for all of 10 minutes out of those 10 long hours. For the other 9 hours and 50 minutes, she talked. And talked.

“Could you please be quiet for two minutes? Just two?” Mean Old Mommy asked. Adelaide crossed her arms, squinted her eyes in the rearview mirror and said, “Well, dat wasn’t vewy nice.” She was right. It wasn't.

Finally across the state line, I was relieved to announce (in my Normal Mommy voice) that, yes, we were finally in North Carolina.

She studied me a few seconds, looked around her and said, "No, we are not. We are still in de car."

Finally Made It

We had a relatively uneventful trip down to NC this time, but it was LONG. We ended up being in the car (and out, since we stopped FOUR times) about 10 hours, total. The kids were really good, but Adelaide ended up sleeping for only 10 minutes out of those 10 hours. She talked incessantly for the other 9 hours and 50 minutes. She asked over and over, "Are we goin' to Norf Carelina? ARE WE?" However, she must not understand yet what North Carolina actually is, because once we crossed the state line and I told her we WERE in NC, she said, "No, we are not. We are in DE CAR."

My mom drove 1/3 of the way and I drove 2/3. It sounds strange, but I was happy to smell the chicken poop when we crossed into good old Wilkes County! That's how I knew I was finally home after a whole year of being north of the Mason-Dixon! I went for BoJangle's for breakfast Saturday morning, and they were doing a fundraiser for MDA (Jerry's Kids) where they put those little signs up with the names of the people who donated. Wouldn't you know that one of the names was BUBBA?! It made me feel like I was really home.

Thomas, Elizabeth, and Josh came over to see us and Sadie ran out to meet them, yelling, "Hey, Uncle Thomas!" then Josie ran out saying, "Uncle Thomas! I missed you!" then Adelaide saw him and said, "AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" and ran away, craying. Oh well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, they always say.

I was afraid that she'd be scared of EVERYONE, since she hasn't been to NC since she was about 18 months old and doesn't really remember anyone, but when we got to Daddy's and Sylvia's, she wasn't scared a bit. Daddy leaned over to unbuckle her from her carseat and I braced myself for screaming and crying. Instead, she grinned up and him and said, "Hewwo, Papaw!" Sadie and Josie also threw themselves at him and Mamaw for hugs. I love seeing my children with their Papaw :) I asked Adelaide later why she wasn't scared, and she said, "Cuz. That's my stinker Papaw."

Caleb and Cameron (who have grown like crazy over the past year - Cameron is now a mini version of Scotty) came down with Sharon to visit and meet Jedidiah, and it didn't take long for all the cousins to break into full playing mode. The best thing I heard all evening was (from Josie and Caleb) "Okay. Now we are going to play tag in the dark! Isn't that a good idea!?"

Then Sadie and her Great Grandma Genevieve stayed up late last night (prior to a terrible night of crying/screaming earache pain from Sadie) 'sorting' all of Grandm'as lipstick and Sadie got to pick out FIVE tubes of lipstick to take home with her... because we all know that a six year old NEEDS a LOT of lipstick.

Sadie ended up with an earache on Sunday, so Josie went to have special Papaw/Mamaw time all by herself. She wanted to eat lunch at a Chinese buffet and then she went shopping with them. Papaw bought Josie a mermaid to play with in the tub, and she bought him some gum. Mamaw also gave her a really cool sparkly gold purse to carry her treasures in. She came home with a gift for everyone (I got a pretty greenish angel bell to replace the one I had to throw away in the flood), but the best was a big yellow smiley-face balloon for her baby brother - he watched it like a hawk! Mamaw said it was hard for the store clerk to reach so she tried to talk Josie into choosing another one, but nothin' doin' - she wanted THAT one for Jed.

One of my favorite parts of going to NC is sharing my scrapbook with my aunt Sharon. She seems to be the only one in the world who really appreciates it! :) While she and I perused my hard work and Adelaide and the baby napped, the girls were impressed to see Papaw working on a new axe! Then they went out for pizza at Village Inn (our favorite), and Mamaw told Sadie some new stories while Papaw built a wooden model of a forklift with Josie.

Later, Adelaide decided that her new name for my Daddy is "Old Papawhead." Josie decided that Mamaw is a great and wonderful cook because she LOVES her Thousand Island salad dressing (she ate three bowls of salad for supper)!

We all went over to Annie's (my daddy's sister's) to play with Lauren, and though Adelaide hid behind the TV from EVERYONE ("Because I'm vewy shy," she said) Josie had a great time playing indoor tag with her cousin while Sadie sorted out Lauren's entire play kitchen... for FUN.

The old stand-by, livermush, made its appearance, along with the ever-popular Bo-Berry biscuits from BoJangles! I laughed when I saw a name-tag in the drive-thru window with the name "Bubba" on it. Adelaide got to make biscuits with Great Grandma, and Sadie learned to make cornbread! Now, if I could just learn to make chicken and dumplings the way she does!

We got to go to Melanie's to have play time and lunch with her and Ada. For lunch, she made mac & cheese, hummus, and frozen grapes. My girls thought it was the best lunch ever. It was warm enough to play outside, so after watching Sadie do some kind of crazy (SCARY) flip off of the swingset, we headed into the BEST part of the visit: fresh disgusting entrails under the porch. All of the girls were completely fascinated by this!

When Cameron and Caleb came over to play (they spent the evening at Angela's on another night) they all got a little bit too rambunctious and Grandma made them all sit on the couch! It reminded me of the old days when she used to make me and Angela hug each other and tell each other "I LOVE YOU!" when we were mad. It was torture!

On Wednesday, I went to lunch with Chasity, my little buddy. The kids stayed at Great Grandma's and had a well-deserved PJ day until we went over to see Papaw and Mamaw at 4:00. Sadie got to ride up in the lift in the garage while he changed the oil in my car, and then she had a checker match with Papaw, followed by a marathon story-time by Mamaw. Josie and Papaw and Adelaide played catch. They think it's hilarious when he bonks them on the head with the ball. Then Josie walked on his back since his back was hurting. He played Rocky top on the guitar for them and we all sang - I think I'm the only mom in the world (at least up north!) with three little girls who sing Rocky Top all the time!

Mamaw kept the girls for me while I ran errands and went to lunch with Sherry on Thursday. They told stories, painted fingernails, watched Tom and Jerry, and had a big old time. I laughed when I got there because they had all stripped off their clothes because the woodstove had it STIFLING in there. Adelaide had made it down to her pull-up and nothing else. Jedidiah was fussy and crying until Papaw picked him up out of his seat and then he proceeded to coo and be absolutely adorable for the rest of the afternoon. Papaw called him "Yunior" most of the time (which is his funny way of saying Junior). They loved going for walks in the woods with him, but Josie was on the lookout (and terrified by) ticks!

The scariest (and funniest) part of our visit was when Josie hopped in the tub while I put Jedidiah's PJs on. We were all in the living room, which is literally FEET from the bathroom so I didn't think it was dangerous to leave her in there... I could call and say, "Josie?" and she'd say "I'm okay!" Well... Josie likes to 'relax' when she's in the tub by herself. She leans all the way back in the water, floating on her back with her ears under and her arms stretched out, floating at her sides. When my mom called, "Josie?" No answer. "Josie?" I said, a little louder. No answer. My mom got up and ran into the bathroom, saw Josie laying there with her arms spread out, eyes rolled up, still as a mouse, and SCREAMED, "OHHH! HELP ME LORRRRRD!!! Devone!!!!" I raced in there, just in time to see Mama yanking Josie by one arm up out of the water. You should've seen Josie's face, shocked and dripping, yanked rudely out of her bath, saying, "Whatthe...?" Mama was so relieved she couldn't stand up for two hours. Her knees buckled! Josie apologized, even though she wasn't really doing anything wrong. She couldn't hear us calling for us because her little ears were under the water! :) She, Sadie, and Adelaide all three went around for DAYS yelling "HELP ME LORRRD!" and cracking up at themselves.

We had a really good trip, though we were definitely ready to come back home after 13days and a lot of car trouble (Daddy finally fixed a fuel injector and got it running right again). I'm very happy that all 4 of my children have been able to meet their Great Grandma Genevieve. Not many people are blessed to know and be known by their great grandparents... it's truly a blessing.

Flooding

This is from my new weekly column, called 'Mama Says.' Visit www.mentorpatch.com to read it every Sunday!!

Sleep was elusive at my house this past Sunday night due to the howling wind outside and the howling little girls inside.

My three daughters – ages 6, 5 and 2 – were terrified of the storm. (Their baby brother slept through the whole thing.) And they informed me that there was no way they could possibly return to their own beds until it was over.

Everyone in Mentor was probably as happy as we were to see the sun rise Monday morning. But that was before we all looked into our basements.

Our sump pump had fizzled in the wee hours of the morning. I couldn't help but be reminded of that old song, You Left Me Just When I Needed You Most.

Like you, I donned my boots (waders, since I married a fisherman) and steeled myself to throw away piles of painstakingly saved soggy preschool papers, ruined by 20 inches of murky water. I sorted through dripping mountains of my babies' clothes that I had planned to save for my grandchildren.

Since this was our first (and hopefully our last) experience with flooding, my heart felt a new kind of pain when I found a ruined pair of tiny pink shoes – the ones my 6-year-old wore when she was just learning to walk.

A bookshelf that my dad made for me when I was heading off to college, the velvet-robed angel that had always graced the top of our Christmas tree, the crib mobile that used to dangle over my baby girl's outstretched hands, the wooden chest that used to hold bathtub toys – all went out to the curb. Proof of our lives, of our histories, gone.

I wiped away my tears with rubber-gloved hands.

Then my 5-year-old met me at the top of the basement stairs, smiling a sweet smile and holding out a crayon drawing, "to make you feel better, Mommy."

As I taped it to the refrigerator, I was reminded that the most precious things we have are not really things. What matters most, make that who matters most, was not lost in the flood at all.