The World of Jedididah

As an 18-month-old, the world stretches out before my son Jedidiah, beckoning him to all of its wonders. Here are a few of the things that he’s learned in his short (but exciting) life. When it’s time to eat, EAT. Don’t let anything stop you. Also, any kind of fruit is worth squealing over. Whipped cream, however, is worth crying over. Books have multiple uses: reading, chewing and throwing. Sisters are funny. Sisters who dance around and then fall down accidentally are hilarious. Moms are the best thing ever. Potential friends are everywhere. Most are in the form of dogs. The human body is very interesting. Especially your own teeth, your feet, your ears, your hair and (dare I say it?) your weenie. Don’t miss your window of opportunity for napping. Hooking your bare toes up underneath the tray on your high chair helps with digestion. Bibs are overrated. Wipe your hands on your shirt – or better yet, on your head. Grass is tickly and also good for throwing. Peek-a-boo is a great game. Grown-ups don’t know what they’re missing. Buttons are for pushing. If you weren’t supposed to push it, it wouldn’t be there. The great outdoors is just that – great. Dogs are entertaining, and eating dog food is a special treat. If you shove it in your mouth quick enough, your mom can’t get it out of there. If at all possible, wear your PJs all day long. Toilets are good for washing your hands in. I don't know why, but you have to wash them again in the sink afterward. Dads are great for giving piggy-back rides, but watch your head. Dads are also tall. If the gate is open, get your butt up the stairs as fast as you can! Something wonderful must be up there! Brushing your teeth is incredibly exciting. Get your hands on a toothbrush at every opportunity. Cars are for driving. Remote control cars are for stealing from your sister and breaking. If it’s closed, open it. This goes for cabinets, boxes, doors and drawers. Putting your pants on your head is always sure to get a laugh. Climb up on whatever is available. Don’t waste time on pointless safety checks. If your grandma is babysitting and she turns her back for a second, jump in the tub – even if you’ve already had your bath and have on a clean diaper and your pajamas. Swinging in a baby swing is awesome. Even if you have to sit in your sister’s old pink one. Whatever you do, don’t cooperate when someone is changing your diaper. If possible, stick your hand in poop. It makes people act crazy! Cooking with plastic toy food is fun, even for a boy. If you follow your sisters around long enough, they WILL put their snack down. And then you WILL be able to get it. Getting pushed around the house in an empty laundry basket is pretty much as good as riding in a limo. It’s fun to poke your mom in the eye. It’s even more fun to stick your finger up her nose. Balls are for bouncing. If you see a ball somewhere, for Pete’s sake, go and bounce it! Sticks are for hitting things. Sweeping the floor must be a lot of fun, otherwise, why would mom do it all the time? Someone get me a broom. If you don’t want to do something, just go limp. It’s impossible for anyone to pick you up off the floor if you’re limp. Trust me on this one. Life is good when you're little - especially when you're little and cute. --from my May 20 article for www.mentorpatch.com