Friday, March 31, 2006

Potatoes and Applesauce

So I'm climbing the hill out of the slump... a little bit at a time. It helped that it was actually a nice day today - it was 60 degrees and sunny! We went to the park and I got to walk a couple of miles with the girls in the stroller without all of us turning blue and freezing our cheeks off. I'm thinking that this is some kind of a cosmic joke, though. I'm waiting for the other shoe (or should I say SNOW) to fall. I've been doing more Billy Blanks Bootcamp. Not great results, so far... I mainly just feel like a horse kicked me in the stomach. I couldn't get out of the car yesterday. Not much going on in my life right now, with the exception of the kids... they're always going, going, going. High(s) for the day: I got to take a nap! I got two kinds of new shoes! Low(s) for the day: I ate lots of potatoes for supper, and we all know that potatoes are poison. Sadie took about 47 stamps off of the roll and plastered them all over the basement and her play kitchen. Josie snorted applesauce up her nose and cried for 20 minutes (with kind of a nasally voice). Not sure if she was mad because it was up her nose, or because she wasted part of it when what she really wanted to do was eat it. She gives the phrase, "It was so good that I inhaled it" a totally new meaning.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Big 0-2

Well, I am officially the mother of a pre-schooler. I can't believe how fast the past two years have gone by. I also can't remember what I ever did (for fun or otherwise) before I became a mom... That means: a) I never really had that much fun to start with; b) It wasn't really that important; or c) I'm losing it big time, and just can't remember. Fun things that happened today: Sadie got "birthday eggs" to eat for breakfast this morning. We all went to lunch at Chuck E. Cheese, and she got to eat a whole tiny pizza all by herself (with pep-ronis, of course). We then went to Toys-R-Us and her Daddy let her pick out any toy she wanted... a girl after my own heart... she chose a huge box of pretend food to go in her play kitchen! She got TWO whole juice boxes (usually she is rationed to one a day). She talked with Grammie, Papaw, Mamaw, Sarah, and her cousin James on the phone today. She got two birthday emails - one from Josh and one from Melanie. She got a birthday package in the mail (from the south) from my friend Becky... it's this cute little dog with a pink collar. She named her "Bear." She said, "Oh, come and see, see my doggy Bear," which can be a little confusing. She got balloons from Aunt Lydia (and immediately popped the blue one as she was jumping around in sheer delight), and a cool pink hairbrush and hairbows from Melissa (she proceeded to share her glee with Melissa by thunking her in the head with the hairbrush, Ninja-style). She got to play outside (she put a little terra-cotta bird on a big rock and said, very politely, "Would you like to sit here on this rock for just a minute, Bird?" Then when he fell off, she said, "Oh no! Bird, are you okay?" Josie thought this was great, and squealed her approval, so Sadie let her hold Bird for a second. Just a second, though. She got cake after supper, and then a bubble bath to soak off all of the blue icing, which was all over her from the neck up. Josie (not to be outdone) had spinach completely covering the lower half of her face, and somehow managed to paint two little spinach eyebrows on her forehead. I'll post a picture of that asap. High for the day: Sadie saying, "Oh, thank you, Mommy. Thank you so much!" (for her sour-apple ring-pop from the toy store). All in all, it was a good day. They are good kids. They are good for my spirit.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I'm Okay, You're Okay

Today, Sadie was running around like a little crazy person. There is a huge refrigerator box in our great room that I'm converting into a carnival game. Right now, though, it's a giant toy for Sadie (Josie doesn't like it - we put her in there, but she just cries. I think she may be claustrophobic). Anyway, Sadie was running around and around and around it, climbing up on the couch and then jumping down behind it. She did this 8 or 9 times with no incident... then, she tripped over a cushion on the couch and landed - *SPLAT* - on her face on the floor. Instead of crying, she immediately springs back up to her feet and says, "Me okay, Mommy. Me O-KAY."

Friday, March 24, 2006

Poop-eye the Sailor Mom

Have you ever had a day full of poop? I don't mean just a typical, ordinary bad day. I'm not using a metaphor here. I seriously mean full of poop. I don't know if the girls were saving it up for me for a couple of days, or what... but I changed at least 17 poopy diapers today. No kidding.

Imagination Station

Okay. I know that I am blessed with a very intelligent, very precocious child. This is a good thing. However, the whole imagination thing is getting well underway WAY too early, in my opinion. The other night when she was convinced that there was "somebody down there" was one thing, but now she's freaking herself out, not to mention her poor old mother (namely, me). Tonight we were in her room, doing the usual routine to get ready for bed. Suddenly, she stops and looks into the corner of the room. She freezes, then runs over to me, jumps on my lap, snuggles her face into my shoulder, and starts crying, "Lexy scares me! Lexy scares me!" (Lexy is my sister-in-law's dog, and she would never hurt a flea. She's more of a chicken than a dog). I told her that Lexy wasn't here, that there was nothing there, that nothing was going to hurt her, etc., but she kept looking over over shoulder, tensing up, and crying. Then she pulled her feet and her hands in and stuck them between her body and mine, to keep them from being exposed... like something was going to bite her! After a few minutes of this, I convinced her to get up so we could go downstairs and get some milk. But as we were walking down the hallway, she kept looking behind her, getting all wild-eyed, JUMPING up on me, and crying, "Lexy scares me!" Okay. Was this a remnant of a leftover dream from naptime or something? She never mentioned being scared when she woke up from her nap today. She gets her imagination from me, I'm sure of it. I always had a tremendously vivid imagination... still do. Instead of trying to calm her fears and reassure her, I feel like saying, "What?! Where? Where's the scary dog hiding? Let's get out of here!" I don't know what I'm going to do! I need advice (other than Jesse's, which is consistently, "Just grow up." :)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Slump

So I'm in a bit of a slump. Physically, spiritually, mentally... something's wrong with me (besides the obvious). I can't seem to get motivated in any way, shape, or form. Haven't worked out in two days. Feel like sleeping all the time. Need to read at least 5 different books, but can't get started on any of them. Pray, but the prayers seem to get stuck... they go up to the ceiling and kind of hover there instead of going higher like they're supposed to. It's getting very annoying.

Good movie: Just Like Heaven. Total chick-flick. Melissa, Deanna, Lydia and I all piled on my bed and watched it on Saturday night. I laughed. I cried. It's kind of cheesy, but that's my kind of movie.

High for the day: After only one year, six months, and 5 days, the house closed this morning.

Sadie ran up to Grandma Beth and said, "Grandma, you need to change me now. Need clean diaper." I think she's definitely ready for potty-training. Josie learned to clap her hands a couple of days ago - it is so cute! Sadie skipped the whole hand-clapping thing. I think she actually just learned how about 3 months ago. So the cute fat baby clapping her chubby little hands is a real treat.

Well, I must go and return to my slump.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Tastes Like Chicken

Today, on the way home from church, Sadie was a little too quiet in the backseat. Upon closer inspection, we find that she has her finger up her little nose. Jesse said, "Sadie, that's not nice! Stop doing that." She stops, looks down at her finger, and says, "Huh. A boo-ger." A couple of minutes go by, then she yells, "Mommy! Daddy! Boo-ger! Boo-ger in mouth!" That's pretty self-explanatory. Yuck. Jesse says, "Sadie! We don't eat boogers! That's yucky! Take it out!" She thinks about it, then says, "Tastes like turkey." We burst out laughing, and then she says, "Taste it, Mommy! Taste it!" I, of course, declined. When she figured out that I wasn't going to taste it, she changed tactics... "Taste it, taste it, Mommy! Tastes like... ham!" Jesse and I were totally cracking up by this point, and Sadie tried one more time: "Daddy, Mommy, say 'Aahhhh!' Tastes like turkey, tastes like ham!"

Friday, March 17, 2006


Okay. Tell me if you think this is just a little freaky. The kids and I are home alone, and I'm upstairs putting them to bed. After I zip up her pj's, Sadie goes out of her room onto the landing, looks down into the great room, comes running back to me, and says, "Somebody's down there." I said, "No there isn't... nobody's home but us." She looks at me very seriously, nods her head up and down, and says, "Mommy, somebody's down there." Yikes. I've got to tell you, things like that make me a little nervous! (If you need further proof, see my previous post, I Sees It, But I Don't Believes It) After I put Josie in her crib, Sadie decides she needs a drink of water (she's becoming a great staller) so we go back downstairs to the kitchen. She then proceeds to go out into the hallway, wave, and say, "Hi! Hi!" to absolutely no one at all. Call me a chicken if you must, but come on! That's scary!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thank you, God

Every night, I sing Sadie a lullaby that I made up when I was only 4 or 5 years old and in the hospital. It's about angels sleeping in the clouds at night and Jesus watching over us... it's so sweet when she sings along. I love the fact that she's singing a song that I actually wrote for her - for her and Josie - long before she was ever born... long before I ever even thought about having my own children. Anyway, after the song and a bedtime story or two, we say her prayers. Sometimes, we hold hands, but usually, she likes to fold her little hands together, bow her head, and squinch her little eyes shut. She recites a list of things to thank God for, and most of the time, it goes something like this: Thank you, God, for Mommy, Daddy, Josie-bean, Papaw, Mamaw, Rudy (Woo-dy), Joey, Grammie, Grammie Poopsie, Great-Grammie, Pitsie (Pixie) Grandpa, Grandma, Deanna, Lynn, Lyd-lia, Say-ruh, 'Lissa, Becky, and Games! (James), Teagan, and Uncle Games (Big James), Cam-e-ron, goats, Rabbit poop, Juice Boxes, Sunday School, Cake, Pie, Ice Cream, Buddy, Doggies, and Snoopy.

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Stand-Off

High noon. A lone tumbleweed blows across the driveway. I find this a bit strange, since we're in Ohio. Nonetheless. In the distance, music plays. No, it's not a ballad from an old Clint Eastwood movie. It's worse. More sinister. It's Raffi. It's "Baby Beluga."

We meet again. A smile plays the corner of her mouth. Her hair is windblown. Or should I say... she has bedhead. She's the meanest bandit this side of the Rio Grande. She's Sadie the Kid. And what's worse is that she has her sidekick, Mean Green Josephine, right by her side. She looks me right in the eye. She's not scared. She laughs. So cute that it's frightening; yet I can't look away.

We're not fighting over cattle. We're not fighting over whiskey. We're not even fighting over bedtime. It's much worse than that. It's... it's... spinach. "Don't like it!" she yells. She glares at me through squinty eyes. If looks could kill, I'd be a goner. She reaches for her weapon. It's a 4-prong pewter revolver. Without even counting to three, she chucks it at me. Spinach flies. Mean Josephine roars her infamous roar, then laughs. They don't call her Mean "Green" for nothing. The mashed peas all over her face don't leave any questions unanswered.

I won't lie. I'm scared. I'm outnumbered. They've got me surrounded. Will brains or brawn prevail? I do the only thing I can think of. I try to talk her down. I threaten her with jail. I threaten her with whippins. I even threaten her with No Juicebox. The only thing that makes her blink an eye is the thought of the dreaded time-out. She leans back... she lowers her backup weapon... I can tell she's weighing her options. Mean Josephine cries out in disbelief, "Blab-ab-ab-AH!" as if to say, "Don't do it, Kid! Don't listen to her threats!" But I know I've got her on the run.

When she asks for her Snoopy, I know I have her. Sheriff Mommy wins this feud. But just how far will Sadie the Kid and Mean Green Josephine go to rule the West - um, I mean, Northeast? Stay tuned to find out.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bad Day

Today was not good. I woke up in a fairly good mood, and Sadie yelled, "Waff-els! Need waff-els!" as soon as she woke up, so she actually ate more than two bites for breakfast this morning. That was the highlight of my day. It was all downhill from there. I got in a huge fight with my mom over the phone, and ended up hanging up on her, which I NEVER do to ANYONE, because I think it is so rude. Hence, I proceeded to feel guilty for the rest of the day. Then we found out that our house is not closing on the specified date AGAIN, and I may have to pay another house payment AGAIN (and still have no house of my own to live in). If that weren't enough, I am super hormonal, I got my hair cut (it looks stupid), my phone died, Sadie ate dog food, Josie stuck her hand in poop when I wasn't looking, the dog tracked mud on the carpet (and he has enormous paws - he weighs about 160 lbs, you know), my shoulder is aching from yesterday's pork chop fight (yes, I punched a frozen pork chop because it refused to come loose from the cellophane wrapper), I have a zit, Josie spit green beans all over the front of my favorite shirt, and I ended up locking myself in the bathroom to sob for 40 minutes, during which time Sadie banged repeatedly on the door yelling, "Knock, knock! Who is it? It's me, Sadie!" So, I'm done for the day...hopefully I won't trip over the bedspread and suffocate in my pillow.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Pantless Wonder

Josie has reached that developmental stage in which "separation anxiety" is the norm. It's getting ridiculous! She'll be fine until she sees me, then she revs it up and screams her little lungs out until I pick her up or she collapses in a tired, sniveling heap... whichever comes first. She usually wins, I'm ashamed to admit. I'm a pushover, and her cry is so pitiful! It sounds like her little heart will break at any moment if she doesn't get what she wants RIGHT THIS SECOND. I am afraid she's getting the temper from my daddy's side of the family... the same one that he and I both have. Uh-oh. Sadie lucked out and got Jesse's laid-back attitude, but I think Josie is going to be a spitfire.

Today, after I changed Sadie's diaper, she took off running and got away without her pants. I said, "Come back here!" to which she replied, "I'm a pantless wonder!" (Thanks, Aunt Lydia :)

Today at work, I ventured out of the office and helped out on the salesfloor. I was up on a ladder, and I had to stick my head under a hinged-flap cover thing to hold it open while I was grabbing a box from behind it. A customer walked by behind me and said, "Wow. That's really using your head." Ba-dum-bah!

Well, I'm off to do a little voting for you-know-who. I'm such a loser.

Monday, March 06, 2006


Every night before I go to bed, I go upstairs to check on my babies. I go in to Josie's room first, and I make sure she's all tucked in and not wedged up against the side of the crib (she likes to push her face up against the corner). She's usually all toasty, and her little cheeks are like squooshy warm velvet to the touch. I love hearing her make her little baby moans, sighs, and little snuffling sounds in her sleep. After I touch her to make sure she's not too hot, I put my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing. I always whisper, "Night night, sweet baby" and quietly close the door. I tiptoe over to Sadie's room and sneak in. She's usually sprawled out all over her crib, with a leg or an arm through the slats... sometimes she sleeps face down with her little bottom stuck up in the air. I roll her over, smooth her wispy hair back from her face, place my hand on her forehead, and stare at her serene little face. I love looking at her while she's sleeping and quiet... I hold her hand and watch her breathe. Sometimes as I'm standing there, looking at one of them, my heart feels like it will just explode.... I'm not sure how to explain it, but I have this irresistable urge to fall to my knees and pray. Tears well up in my eyes... there's this overwhelmingness about it all... the fact that these are mine. God gave them to me. They came from me. They call me the most revered name in the world: "Mommy." Happiness.

Josie the Joker

This afternoon, after naptime was supposed to be finished, I yelled upstairs: "Sadie, are you awake?" There was a pause, and then a little voice yelled back, "No!" After I stopped laughing, I sat Josie down in her Boppy pillow with a teething biscuit and went upstairs to get Sadie. When we came back down, I saw Josie, but no teething biscuit. Hmm. I looked around her; no biscuit. I looked at her face more closely... and her cheeks were sticking out way too far to be normal. She had smashed the whole thing into her mouth, SIDEWAYS, and was giving me this macabre little 2-toothed grin with teething biscuit drool down the side of her face. Luckily, I was able to get it out before she could try to swallow the thing whole. Every day's an adventure, let me tell you. This evening, we went to see some "baby kit-cats" at Great Uncle Roger's house. Sadie had a grand old time, and only tried to squish one once. Then she went around the entire basement, pointing out everything to her cousin Jessica and asking, "What's that now? What's this now?" She then told her favorite story about feeding the baby cow with Papaw again. I wish my memory were as good as hers. Then she told her favorite story about feeding the baby cow with Papaw again... oh, wait.

The Search

Saturday, Jesse lost his wallet. We spent 3 days frantically searching for it, combing the movie theater where we think it fell out of his pocket, harassing the theater employees, throwing things around, and yelling at each other about where it could be. He got a call today from a post office miles and miles away... they have it. Bizarre. Of course, we've already cancelled all the credit cards, and he had no cash in it, so the best we're hoping for is to get his pictures of Sadie and Josie back in one piece. I'm kind of sorry to see its return... there goes my gift idea for his birthday (which, by the way, is in just a couple of weeks. It's the big 3-0. I would make fun of him, but I am constantly reminded that he is only 5 months and 2 days older than me, and my day is coming).

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Not-Quite-Two Comedian

Sadie was in the tub the other night, and Josie was sitting on my lap, peering over into the water. She accidentally pushed the bottle of baby wash into the tub and it splashed both her and Sadie in the face. After two looks of surprise and shock, they both burst into giggles. Sadie then put the bottle back on the edge of the tub, and Josie went for it again. Splash! More squeals and giggles. Again. Splash! Cheers from Sadie, shrieks of delight from Josie. The game was on. They must have done this thirty times... I can't tell you how neat it was to see them interacting and playing together as sisters for the very first time.

These are just a few of the things that Sadie has said in the past couple of days. She keeps me laughing, even when I'm in a bad mood.

She absolutely loves Juicy Juice juice boxes. You know, the little square boxes with the straws attached? She's only allowed to have one a day, but she's always trying to manipulate us in order to con another one. The other night, she said, with dramatic emphasis, "Need juice box now... need juice box ALL DAY LONG!"

Today, as I was changing the sheets, she took one of the pillows, hugged it to her chest, closed her eyes, and said, "Pillow, pillow... I LOVE pillows."

She also wanted to climb up on the bed, and I told her to wait until I was finished putting the sheets back on. She thought about this for a second, then said, "Finish NOW, Mommy!"

She has taken to adding "now" to the ends of all of her questions... for any of you who have ever seen the "meow" scene in the movie Super Troopers, this should have an especially funny meaning. "What's that now?" "Where that now?" "What's this now?" "What doin,' now?"

And last but not least (this had me rolling in the floor), as I was putting her to bed last night, she took her little black sunglasses with Piglet on the sides, put them on, placed her hands on her hips, gave me a cool stare, and said, "Hey, Man...."

What Now?

Sadie, when she doesn't know what something is called, points at it and says, "What's this now? What's that now? What's this now?"

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Shame, the Shame

Okay, I think I am obsessed. Again, I stayed up to watch "you know what." Again, I called in no less than 23 times to vote for "you know who." Geez oh man. Other things I am ashamed of today: I ate 3 Cadbury eggs. Yes, three. The diet is not going well. I unknowingly stole a 3 pack of RightGuard men's deodorant from Wal-mart because it fell into Josie's carseat and I didn't see it when I checked out. A friend from work waved at me in the parking lot of a restaurant and I pretended I did not see her because I had on zilcho make-up. Instead of doing my daily Bible reading in the bathtub like I usually do, I started the sequel to "The Talisman." I watched "Walk the Line" (FABULOUS movie, I must say) and now I am subconsciously singing "Folsom Prison Blues" all the time. On its own, this is not that bad. With a toddler, however, I am inadvertently teaching her to sing, "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." I am on a slippery slope, and we all know that I have no ability to balance. Or sensible shoes.