Happiness

Every night before I go to bed, I go upstairs to check on my babies. I go in to Josie's room first, and I make sure she's all tucked in and not wedged up against the side of the crib (she likes to push her face up against the corner). She's usually all toasty, and her little cheeks are like squooshy warm velvet to the touch. I love hearing her make her little baby moans, sighs, and little snuffling sounds in her sleep. After I touch her to make sure she's not too hot, I put my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing. I always whisper, "Night night, sweet baby" and quietly close the door. I tiptoe over to Sadie's room and sneak in. She's usually sprawled out all over her crib, with a leg or an arm through the slats... sometimes she sleeps face down with her little bottom stuck up in the air. I roll her over, smooth her wispy hair back from her face, place my hand on her forehead, and stare at her serene little face. I love looking at her while she's sleeping and quiet... I hold her hand and watch her breathe. Sometimes as I'm standing there, looking at one of them, my heart feels like it will just explode.... I'm not sure how to explain it, but I have this irresistable urge to fall to my knees and pray. Tears well up in my eyes... there's this overwhelmingness about it all... the fact that these are mine. God gave them to me. They came from me. They call me the most revered name in the world: "Mommy." Happiness.