Tuesday, May 21, 2013

13 Ways Moms are Like Celebrities

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you over-working, under-sleeping, multi-tasking, laundry-doing, ever-loving moms!

Today I’d like to turn your attention to how WE, the moms, are like celebrities. No, we don’t have tons of money and we don’t spend $500 on a new purse. But take a peek at these striking similarities:

1. Your name is a household name. Let’s face it. Everyone knows you’re a mom. You have that “mom look” about you. And anywhere you hear your name (even from complete strangers at the grocery store, the library, the park) you always look up and answer, “What?”

2. People follow you around everywhere. You have your own special version of the paparazzi. They always know where you are. They show up uninvited and usually, they make a nuisance of themselves.

3. Wherever you go, people scream and cry for you. Your time and attention are in high demand. You are number one on the Most Desirable People List.

4. You have a chauffeur. Oh, wait – I meant you ARE a chauffeur.

5. You have your own talk show. It’s called Sit Down for Dinner, and you, the host, spend half an hour trying to interview unforthcoming people to find out what the heck they have been up to and why. Sometimes, they jump up and down on your couch like Tom Cruise.

6. You spend thousands of hours “on the road.” Granted, you’re not going to Aspen, Rome or the French Riviera. But play group, Sunday School, the museum and summer camp are close seconds.

7. You have to entertain crowds of screaming fanatics (and sometimes, all of their friends.)

8. You get no privacy. Not even in the bathroom. If you lock the door, someone can usually figure out how to unlock it from the outside. Otherwise, you’ll be able to see their fingers sticking through under the crack at the bottom . Come on, they just want to be close to you.

9. Someone is always pulling at your clothes or throwing their (dirty) underwear at you. Or socks.

10. You set trends. You come up with fashion-forward ideas like matching holey yoga pants with mismatched flip-flops in the dead of winter. Or this season’s newest look: coffee-splattered t-shirts half-tucked into mud-splattered jeans with cowboy boots. And trending for summer: hair that sticks up in front and looks like a rat’s nest in back along with a great-looking sunburn because you used up all the sunscreen on your 2-year-old’s voluminous cheeks.

11. You’re always being quoted. Quotes will usually be unforgettable gems starting out with, “But Mo-om, YOU said….” or any random bad word that has inadvertently come out of your mouth sometime in the past six months. Quotes are usually conveniently remembered either during prayer at church or at your in-laws’ house.

12. Your fans adore you. They want to be just like you , so you better be careful what you say, do, eat, wear, read, watch…. Oh, forget it. Just be careful how you live.

13. And the best thing about being a celebrity mom? You already know it. You love your biggest fans more than anything else in the world. 

--from my 5/21/13 post for www.mentorpatch.com