I Repeat, We Have a Sadie Down

On Sunday, Jesse didn't go to church. He was recovering from a late night at a Pearl Jam concert the night before. Brave soul that I am, I decided to take both kids and go by myself. Without backup! Sunday School was fine (Sadie LOVES Sunday School and goes in there all by herself), but then the actual service started. At first, all was well... Sadie busied herself with pulling out all the hymn books, stacking them up on the pew and then putting them all back in the seat in front of us. Josie "sang" as loud as she could during the first couple of hymns. I thought, "Hmm. This isn't as bad as I thought! I can do this!" Then, Josie started fussing for her bottle. I gave it to her, and she proceeded to make these immensely loud slurping and "gulk, gulk, gulk" noises. Before I could get her quieted down, Sadie informed me (not in her quiet voice) that she "Need see James now! Need go see Grandma!" Josie started squirming; Sadie took her sippy cup and about 4 bags of snacks out the diaper bag and threw them down. While I was picking them up, Josie started crying, and Sadie tried to get my reserve juice box out of the bag. This was all too much commotion, so I finally just stuffed everything in the bag, scooped up Josie, and scooched Sadie out the end of the pew in front of me, toward the back door. Well, as we were headed out, she decided to make a pit stop by the FIRE EXTINGUISHER. She opened the glass door in front of it, grabbed it, and was just about to pull it down and set off who knows what kind of alarms when I nudged her with the end of the diaper bag (in my semi-free hand). Of course, instead of just moving along to the door like she should have, she tripped and fell and thunked her head and her knee on the floor and started bawling. This was all in front of EVERYone. Of course I felt terrible, because I essentially pushed my child down, even though it was an accident. When we finally made it to the nursery, they took turns crying and pooping until it was time to go home. For Pete's sake. This isn't exactly the "religious persecution" I thought was going to befall me in the last days....