The Udder Zaccheus

Jesse was discussing the Zaccheus story with Sadie while we were at supper the other night (that was her Sunday School lesson for the week) and he said, "What would you say to Zaccheus if you were Jesus?" She thought a minute, then said, "Well, I would tell him to get down from there because it's suppertime. AND, I will let you go to sleep in the green grass and I will take you to the still waters." I thought that was so smart!!! She was putting herself in Jesus' place!

"Don't take dem all, my Mommy!" Josie admonished me today as I was trying to "share" her strawberries with Sadie. "I still eatin' dem!" Her vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds over the last few months, and she has this adorable little low voice... kind of like a guttural voice... I can't explain it, but she tends to pooch out her lips and frown when she talks, like she's TRYING to talk like a cowboy or something.

Later, Sadie brought a ziploc bag with a cheese sandwich in it into the kitchen and slung it up on the counter. "Mommy, Grammy left this for me in my room. She's always doing stuff like that... stuff she's not supposed to. I don't know why. I think it's because she's old."

My favorite thing that Josie and I do now is our bedtime ritual. I tell her she's the best Josie in the whole wide world, and then I say I want a smooch. She kisses me, then says, "Kiss your nose." She kisses my nose. "Kiss your eyes." She kisses my eyes. "Kiss my head." I kiss her head. "Kiss my cheek." I kiss her cheek. "Now de udder one." I kiss the other cheek. "I kiss your lips." She kisses my lips. "You kiss my ears." I kiss her ears. It's the best bedtime game ever!

Finished...I Need a Napkin

Today, when she was supposed to be sleeping, Josie was talking, talking, talking in her room. I finally went in and she said, "Hello dere! I reading my book. (The Grouchy Ladybug) I almost finished." True to her word, when she "finished" reading, she closed it and went to sleep!

Yesterday while I was brushing Sadie's hair before church, she - shall we say - "tooted." While I hesitate to share this unladylike bodily function with you, I'm going to record it for posterity anyway. I said, "Yikes! That was a big one!" She turned around to look at me and said, "Mommy, I need a napkin." It was totally unrelated to what had just transpired, because she had oatmeal on her chin that she wanted me to wipe off for her, but when she said it at that moment, I thought I would CRACK UP.

Numbly Bumbley

What a day. Just when things started to feel like they were going to get back to "normal," (normal for me is probably NOT normal for most people), everything goes haywire. Jesse gets a cold. Josie (who for all intents and purposes is THE most "regular" person alive - ask anyone at church... come 10:30am on Sunday morning, she stinks everyone out of the nursery, every week) has been having, shall we say, issues, since Saturday, and to top it all off, I woke up this morning with my left elbow roughly the size of a grapefruit. Don't ask me why. I go to bed, it's normal. I wake up, it's giant. And it HURTS. I go to work, it hurts, I work, it hurts, I go to lunch, it hurts, I call the doctor. I go to the doctor. Something exploded in there, possibly because I whacked my funny bone yesterday. They numb it, by sticking me with a needle about 12 times (a whole OTHER thing... If they're trying to NUMB you to not feel PAIN, why do they have to STICK you repeatedly with a stinking sharp NEEDLE?!), then slice it with some kind of a razorblade. I have some mysterious elbow infection/exploded fluid something. I don't understand it. Honestly, I think I would have rather just gritted my teeth and felt the razorblade for a second than having the so-called "numbing" put in there. I mean, it's not like I've never cut myself with a razor before (if you've ever seen the backs of my knees, you know what I mean). Anyway, they gave me antibiotics and anti-inflammatories, and anti-venom or something. What I need is some anti-WEIRD AILMENTS HAPPENING ONLY TO ME pills. But I digress. After that weird little visit to the doctor, I gave up and took Josie to HER doctor, too, because she was breaking my heart by holding her little tummy, crying, and yelling "Tummy hurt! I poop! TUMMY HURT! POOOOOOOP!!!" every ten minutes. I won't go into the details, but she feels better now, bless her little heart.

Funny things: Sadie had on her "grandma shirt," as she calls it - one that looks like a peasant shirt with big sleeves - her Grandma Beth has one like it, I think. Or at least Sadie thinks she does...Anyway, this shirt turned out to be a bit on the small side. When Sadie reached up for something, she said, "Hey! My belly is cold! This shirt is too small! I think we need to give it to our friend Josie."

Last night, the kids watched Rudolph for the 867th time. I know, I know, it's September. I live in a timeless void. Anyway, the Abominable Snowman came on the screen and Sadie says, "Hey! Look! It's my Grandpa!" Josie echoes, "Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa!" Yeah, old Roy is a mighty humble bumble, all right. :)

X-nay on the Ing-Kay

I think I'm going to have to boycott "The Lion King."

Yesterday, Sadie burst into the song, "I've got a love-a-lee bunch of coconuts, twiddle-e-dee, tweedle-e-dee," at a most inopportune moment, THEN, tonight, I walked in to find Josie on her little knees, hands raised in the air, yelling, "Fa-der! FA-DER! Don't WEAVE ME!"

"I'll Have the Bees...Gracias."

After taking a walk (while Sadie rode her bike and Josie pulled the wagon) and watching the clouds up in the sky, we came home and made supper while we listened to Josie's latest favorite song, "Thank you, God, for who I am... I don't need to be a superman!" She usually starts singing it right after she says thank you for anything... for example, I give her some chocolate milk and she says, "THANK YOU, GOD!" It's pretty stinking funny, if I just remember to tell her that I am NOT God, and it IS good to thank Him for everything.

That said, I just killed the seventh bee of the day. SEVENTH!!!! We apparently have an infestation of some sort, and they are all ending up in the kitchen. Melanie, you do NOT want to come here today. The kids find it all very fascinating... I guess it is pretty entertaining to watch me stalk the bee, line up the bee under my instrument of death (usually an envelope of some sort), smack the bee, squash the bee, and then go, "Oooh-ewww-ooh-eww" while jumping up and down. I hate that crunchy squooshing sound. Anyway, I don't know what the deal is, but Jesse's going to be spraying tomorrow, whether he likes it or not!! :)


Last night we went out to eat at the kids' favorite place... Mexican. Once there, Josie, who is two years old (as you probably know), said that she wanted (and I quote), "A Quesadilla, rice and beans, and cheese dip." Sadie added, "And nachos AND salsa. Gracias." Ay de mi. Josie flirted shamelessly with the waiters, and Sadie had a good old time climbing all over Grammy and wiping beans on her shirt.

Today, Deanna came over to play, and I thought both of them were going to burst from excitement when she got here. I was in the middle of changing Josie's diaper when I hear Sadie yelling from the kitchen, "She's here! Oh boy! Oh boy! Podie-odie okey-dokey! She's here! She's coming around the mountain!" Well, you couldn't fool Josie.... SHE knew who was here, and she started this low grumbly squeal deep in her throat... building as her whole body quivered with excitement, until she finally cut loose with this bloodcurdling scream of "DEANNA! I IN HERE! DEANNA! WHERE ARE YOU?" Then she takes off running as fast as her chubby legs could go. I didn't see them again for almost 2 hours... most of this time was spent hiding in my closet. All I heard were giggles, thumps, and muffled, "I hear the monster!" whispers from the other side of the door. I'm so glad they have Aunt Deanna! :)

The girls have been feasting on pinto beans for the past 3 days now. Great Grandma Genevieve sent them home with Grammy when she came back on Sunday. Sadie got up from bed a while ago and said, "Mommy, I could sure use a little bit of beans." She ate a whole bowlful, then asked for more. Then she sat back, rubbed her tummy, and said, "Ahhh. Great Grandma Genevieve sure does make the BEST beans." I don't know that I've mentioned this before, but she thinks HER middle name is Great Grandma Genevieve. hehee



Well, I must retire for the evening... 5 o'clock comes early, as my Daddy always says. I will be on the lookout (hear-out?) for telltale buzzing all night, needless to say.

I Tink

While we were gone, the kids went to the fair with Grandma, Deanna, and Aunt Becky. They got to meet a robot and ride ponies! From what I hear, Sadie is turning into her father - she had on a shirt that said "Daddy's Little Sweetie," and when Grandma Beth asked her what it said, she answered, "Well, it sure doesn't say GRANDMA's little sweetie!" Sheesh.

We saw a dead mouse outside today, and you would've thought it was a major tourist attraction. They stared at it, pointed, stared some more, and just could not pull themselves away. Josie kept saying, as I dragged her off, "Mousie! Dead! EWW! A dead one, Mommy! Mousie! Yucky!"

Tonight, after baths, Josie was having some naked time in Sadie's room. Or as she likes to call it, she was a "nudie-butt." She sat down on a pillow, pulled a blanket on top of her head like a shepherd, and just sat there, like she was meditating. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Shh... Mommy. I tinking." Then she tapped her head with her finger and said, "Tink, tink, tink."

Sadie ran into my room tonight and put her hands on her hips, got this serious look on her face and said, "Mommy! Josie kicked me RIGHT in the FACE. Right in my NOSE. With her FOOT. AND she did NOT say she was sorry. I did not do ANYTHING. I just was trying to PLAY with her, and Mommy, she KICKED me. RIGHT IN MY FACE!" All this while gesturing wildly with her hands... I couldn't help it... I cracked up. Sadie kind of grinned, but I don't think she appreciated my lack of concern. Josie did end up saying she was sorry and giving Sadie a kiss, to which she replied, "Thank you, Josie. I feel better now."

Thing One and Thing Two

Jesse and I just got back from our first "real trip" without the girls. We went to Orlando (he won a trip on the radio) and stayed for 4 days and 3 nights. His friend from work and his wife went with us. The trip started off really well - Sarah dropped us off at the airport so we didn't have to park, and we went straight through to the gate... no waiting AT ALL! The flight was uneventful, which was a good thing, since I was a semi-nervous wreck (the last time I flew was before Sadie was born when my head exploded, you know).

The resort was really nice, and we were happy to be in the land of palm trees (although they little nuts on the trees were NOT coconuts. Jesse said they were "palm-olives," which is what they make dish soap out of. :) The first night we waited around too long to get supper and we were all starving and irritable by the time we finally found somewhere - some place called Houlihan's. From now on, when we're all so hungry we're sick and crazy, we're coining the phrase "I'm HOULIHAN'S hungry!"

Sunday, we went to Universal Studios. After standing in line for a good 45 minutes in the burning hot Florida sun, we finally got into the park, which was really cool. It's just like being in a city all its own - there are movie sets everywhere, and you can't tell if they are real buildings or just false fronts. We saw the T2 3D movie, rode The Mummy Returns, Twister, Earthquake, MIB Alien Attack, stood in line for Jaws (they had to shut it down because of lightning), and just goofed off and had a good time. It was really interesting to see how movies are made and to see actual props and stuff from movies that you've watched for years. After all this excitement, we were exhausted, so we went back to the condo and made pizzas and watched TV. My mom tried to get the kids to talk to me on the phone but they weren't interested. Then when she asked if they wanted to talk to Daddy, they both did and Sadie got on the phone and said in this sweet little voice, "Hey, Daddy!!!" Thhpt. All I did was give birth to them and love them and care for them every day of their lives, the little goobs.

Monday we went to the outlets (or I should say we TRIED to go to the outlets). I have never seen more cars jammed into one parking lot... cars EVERYWHERE. All over the curbs, parked behind eachother, parked on the sidewalk... it was ridiculous. We ended up dropping off Jesse's friend and his wife at the door and going to some little gift shops further up the road. I knew it was time to give up the outlet idea when Jesse got that look in his eye that said "I am going to run SOMEBODY down!" He doesn't do well in crowds. Luckily for him, I am not the typical shop til you drop woman. I didn't mind leaving the psycho parking lot at all. The afternoon was spent hanging around the pool, and that night we went out to dinner at another place called Key W Kool's which was pretty stinking expensive BUT delicious. After stuffing ourselves, we forced ourselves to pack up all our stuff and go to bed since we had to drop off Jesse's friends at the airport at 7:00am!!

On Tuesday, our flight didn't leave until 5:30pm, so we had pretty much all day to do what we wanted (which was mainly to go home and see our kids. We were getting fairly desperate... I asked one lady if I could hold her baby and she looked at me like I was nuts. I promised her I wasn't a weirdo... just deprived of my own children for 4 days. :) We went out to breakfast, walked on Cocoa Beach (the Space Coast) where we saw a woman playing a shofar out in the ocean, went to RonJon's Surf Shop, and THEN we went to Kennedy Space Center! I was SO EXCITED, I felt like a little kid! The rocket garden was amazing to me, and we rode in a space shuttle simulator, saw all kinds of cool NASA stuff, and got our picture taken with a real astronaut. I loved it! Jesse just liked it because I liked it so much, I think.

When we finally got home Tuesday night, we woke the kids up (which I'm sure Aunt Lydia and Uncle Darryl did NOT appreciate, since they had so graciously just put them to bed for us :) but we HAD to see them and give them their Thing 1 and Thing 2 t-shirts, Space Shuttle Suckers, Pooh Bear stampers, seashells, Tinkerbell shirts, and new shoes from the Nike outlet (not to be confused with the other nutso outlets we tried earlier). It's a good thing we weren't gone longer... they wouldn't have any space left in their rooms! :)