Potatoes and Applesauce

So I'm climbing the hill out of the slump... a little bit at a time. It helped that it was actually a nice day today - it was 60 degrees and sunny! We went to the park and I got to walk a couple of miles with the girls in the stroller without all of us turning blue and freezing our cheeks off. I'm thinking that this is some kind of a cosmic joke, though. I'm waiting for the other shoe (or should I say SNOW) to fall. I've been doing more Billy Blanks Bootcamp. Not great results, so far... I mainly just feel like a horse kicked me in the stomach. I couldn't get out of the car yesterday. Not much going on in my life right now, with the exception of the kids... they're always going, going, going. High(s) for the day: I got to take a nap! I got two kinds of new shoes! Low(s) for the day: I ate lots of potatoes for supper, and we all know that potatoes are poison. Sadie took about 47 stamps off of the roll and plastered them all over the basement and her play kitchen. Josie snorted applesauce up her nose and cried for 20 minutes (with kind of a nasally voice). Not sure if she was mad because it was up her nose, or because she wasted part of it when what she really wanted to do was eat it. She gives the phrase, "It was so good that I inhaled it" a totally new meaning.

The Big 0-2

Well, I am officially the mother of a pre-schooler. I can't believe how fast the past two years have gone by. I also can't remember what I ever did (for fun or otherwise) before I became a mom... That means: a) I never really had that much fun to start with; b) It wasn't really that important; or c) I'm losing it big time, and just can't remember. Fun things that happened today: Sadie got "birthday eggs" to eat for breakfast this morning. We all went to lunch at Chuck E. Cheese, and she got to eat a whole tiny pizza all by herself (with pep-ronis, of course). We then went to Toys-R-Us and her Daddy let her pick out any toy she wanted... a girl after my own heart... she chose a huge box of pretend food to go in her play kitchen! She got TWO whole juice boxes (usually she is rationed to one a day). She talked with Grammie, Papaw, Mamaw, Sarah, and her cousin James on the phone today. She got two birthday emails - one from Josh and one from Melanie. She got a birthday package in the mail (from the south) from my friend Becky... it's this cute little dog with a pink collar. She named her "Bear." She said, "Oh, come and see, see my doggy Bear," which can be a little confusing. She got balloons from Aunt Lydia (and immediately popped the blue one as she was jumping around in sheer delight), and a cool pink hairbrush and hairbows from Melissa (she proceeded to share her glee with Melissa by thunking her in the head with the hairbrush, Ninja-style). She got to play outside (she put a little terra-cotta bird on a big rock and said, very politely, "Would you like to sit here on this rock for just a minute, Bird?" Then when he fell off, she said, "Oh no! Bird, are you okay?" Josie thought this was great, and squealed her approval, so Sadie let her hold Bird for a second. Just a second, though. She got cake after supper, and then a bubble bath to soak off all of the blue icing, which was all over her from the neck up. Josie (not to be outdone) had spinach completely covering the lower half of her face, and somehow managed to paint two little spinach eyebrows on her forehead. I'll post a picture of that asap. High for the day: Sadie saying, "Oh, thank you, Mommy. Thank you so much!" (for her sour-apple ring-pop from the toy store). All in all, it was a good day. They are good kids. They are good for my spirit.

I'm Okay, You're Okay

Today, Sadie was running around like a little crazy person. There is a huge refrigerator box in our great room that I'm converting into a carnival game. Right now, though, it's a giant toy for Sadie (Josie doesn't like it - we put her in there, but she just cries. I think she may be claustrophobic). Anyway, Sadie was running around and around and around it, climbing up on the couch and then jumping down behind it. She did this 8 or 9 times with no incident... then, she tripped over a cushion on the couch and landed - *SPLAT* - on her face on the floor. Instead of crying, she immediately springs back up to her feet and says, "Me okay, Mommy. Me O-KAY."

Poop-eye the Sailor Mom

Have you ever had a day full of poop? I don't mean just a typical, ordinary bad day. I'm not using a metaphor here. I seriously mean full of poop. I don't know if the girls were saving it up for me for a couple of days, or what... but I changed at least 17 poopy diapers today. No kidding.

Imagination Station

Okay. I know that I am blessed with a very intelligent, very precocious child. This is a good thing. However, the whole imagination thing is getting well underway WAY too early, in my opinion. The other night when she was convinced that there was "somebody down there" was one thing, but now she's freaking herself out, not to mention her poor old mother (namely, me). Tonight we were in her room, doing the usual routine to get ready for bed. Suddenly, she stops and looks into the corner of the room. She freezes, then runs over to me, jumps on my lap, snuggles her face into my shoulder, and starts crying, "Lexy scares me! Lexy scares me!" (Lexy is my sister-in-law's dog, and she would never hurt a flea. She's more of a chicken than a dog). I told her that Lexy wasn't here, that there was nothing there, that nothing was going to hurt her, etc., but she kept looking over over shoulder, tensing up, and crying. Then she pulled her feet and her hands in and stuck them between her body and mine, to keep them from being exposed... like something was going to bite her! After a few minutes of this, I convinced her to get up so we could go downstairs and get some milk. But as we were walking down the hallway, she kept looking behind her, getting all wild-eyed, JUMPING up on me, and crying, "Lexy scares me!" Okay. Was this a remnant of a leftover dream from naptime or something? She never mentioned being scared when she woke up from her nap today. She gets her imagination from me, I'm sure of it. I always had a tremendously vivid imagination... still do. Instead of trying to calm her fears and reassure her, I feel like saying, "What?! Where? Where's the scary dog hiding? Let's get out of here!" I don't know what I'm going to do! I need advice (other than Jesse's, which is consistently, "Just grow up." :)

The Slump

So I'm in a bit of a slump. Physically, spiritually, mentally... something's wrong with me (besides the obvious). I can't seem to get motivated in any way, shape, or form. Haven't worked out in two days. Feel like sleeping all the time. Need to read at least 5 different books, but can't get started on any of them. Pray, but the prayers seem to get stuck... they go up to the ceiling and kind of hover there instead of going higher like they're supposed to. It's getting very annoying.

Good movie: Just Like Heaven. Total chick-flick. Melissa, Deanna, Lydia and I all piled on my bed and watched it on Saturday night. I laughed. I cried. It's kind of cheesy, but that's my kind of movie.

High for the day: After only one year, six months, and 5 days, the house closed this morning.

Sadie ran up to Grandma Beth and said, "Grandma, you need to change me now. Need clean diaper." I think she's definitely ready for potty-training. Josie learned to clap her hands a couple of days ago - it is so cute! Sadie skipped the whole hand-clapping thing. I think she actually just learned how about 3 months ago. So the cute fat baby clapping her chubby little hands is a real treat.

Well, I must go and return to my slump.

Tastes Like Chicken

Today, on the way home from church, Sadie was a little too quiet in the backseat. Upon closer inspection, we find that she has her finger up her little nose. Jesse said, "Sadie, that's not nice! Stop doing that." She stops, looks down at her finger, and says, "Huh. A boo-ger." A couple of minutes go by, then she yells, "Mommy! Daddy! Boo-ger! Boo-ger in mouth!" That's pretty self-explanatory. Yuck. Jesse says, "Sadie! We don't eat boogers! That's yucky! Take it out!" She thinks about it, then says, "Tastes like turkey." We burst out laughing, and then she says, "Taste it, Mommy! Taste it!" I, of course, declined. When she figured out that I wasn't going to taste it, she changed tactics... "Taste it, taste it, Mommy! Tastes like... ham!" Jesse and I were totally cracking up by this point, and Sadie tried one more time: "Daddy, Mommy, say 'Aahhhh!' Tastes like turkey, tastes like ham!"

Yikes

Okay. Tell me if you think this is just a little freaky. The kids and I are home alone, and I'm upstairs putting them to bed. After I zip up her pj's, Sadie goes out of her room onto the landing, looks down into the great room, comes running back to me, and says, "Somebody's down there." I said, "No there isn't... nobody's home but us." She looks at me very seriously, nods her head up and down, and says, "Mommy, somebody's down there." Yikes. I've got to tell you, things like that make me a little nervous! (If you need further proof, see my previous post, I Sees It, But I Don't Believes It) After I put Josie in her crib, Sadie decides she needs a drink of water (she's becoming a great staller) so we go back downstairs to the kitchen. She then proceeds to go out into the hallway, wave, and say, "Hi! Hi!" to absolutely no one at all. Call me a chicken if you must, but come on! That's scary!

Thank you, God

Every night, I sing Sadie a lullaby that I made up when I was only 4 or 5 years old and in the hospital. It's about angels sleeping in the clouds at night and Jesus watching over us... it's so sweet when she sings along. I love the fact that she's singing a song that I actually wrote for her - for her and Josie - long before she was ever born... long before I ever even thought about having my own children. Anyway, after the song and a bedtime story or two, we say her prayers. Sometimes, we hold hands, but usually, she likes to fold her little hands together, bow her head, and squinch her little eyes shut. She recites a list of things to thank God for, and most of the time, it goes something like this: Thank you, God, for Mommy, Daddy, Josie-bean, Papaw, Mamaw, Rudy (Woo-dy), Joey, Grammie, Grammie Poopsie, Great-Grammie, Pitsie (Pixie) Grandpa, Grandma, Deanna, Lynn, Lyd-lia, Say-ruh, 'Lissa, Becky, and Games! (James), Teagan, and Uncle Games (Big James), Cam-e-ron, goats, Rabbit poop, Juice Boxes, Sunday School, Cake, Pie, Ice Cream, Buddy, Doggies, and Snoopy.

The Stand-Off

High noon. A lone tumbleweed blows across the driveway. I find this a bit strange, since we're in Ohio. Nonetheless. In the distance, music plays. No, it's not a ballad from an old Clint Eastwood movie. It's worse. More sinister. It's Raffi. It's "Baby Beluga."

We meet again. A smile plays the corner of her mouth. Her hair is windblown. Or should I say... she has bedhead. She's the meanest bandit this side of the Rio Grande. She's Sadie the Kid. And what's worse is that she has her sidekick, Mean Green Josephine, right by her side. She looks me right in the eye. She's not scared. She laughs. So cute that it's frightening; yet I can't look away.

We're not fighting over cattle. We're not fighting over whiskey. We're not even fighting over bedtime. It's much worse than that. It's... it's... spinach. "Don't like it!" she yells. She glares at me through squinty eyes. If looks could kill, I'd be a goner. She reaches for her weapon. It's a 4-prong pewter revolver. Without even counting to three, she chucks it at me. Spinach flies. Mean Josephine roars her infamous roar, then laughs. They don't call her Mean "Green" for nothing. The mashed peas all over her face don't leave any questions unanswered.

I won't lie. I'm scared. I'm outnumbered. They've got me surrounded. Will brains or brawn prevail? I do the only thing I can think of. I try to talk her down. I threaten her with jail. I threaten her with whippins. I even threaten her with No Juicebox. The only thing that makes her blink an eye is the thought of the dreaded time-out. She leans back... she lowers her backup weapon... I can tell she's weighing her options. Mean Josephine cries out in disbelief, "Blab-ab-ab-AH!" as if to say, "Don't do it, Kid! Don't listen to her threats!" But I know I've got her on the run.

When she asks for her Snoopy, I know I have her. Sheriff Mommy wins this feud. But just how far will Sadie the Kid and Mean Green Josephine go to rule the West - um, I mean, Northeast? Stay tuned to find out.

Bad Day

Today was not good. I woke up in a fairly good mood, and Sadie yelled, "Waff-els! Need waff-els!" as soon as she woke up, so she actually ate more than two bites for breakfast this morning. That was the highlight of my day. It was all downhill from there. I got in a huge fight with my mom over the phone, and ended up hanging up on her, which I NEVER do to ANYONE, because I think it is so rude. Hence, I proceeded to feel guilty for the rest of the day. Then we found out that our house is not closing on the specified date AGAIN, and I may have to pay another house payment AGAIN (and still have no house of my own to live in). If that weren't enough, I am super hormonal, I got my hair cut (it looks stupid), my phone died, Sadie ate dog food, Josie stuck her hand in poop when I wasn't looking, the dog tracked mud on the carpet (and he has enormous paws - he weighs about 160 lbs, you know), my shoulder is aching from yesterday's pork chop fight (yes, I punched a frozen pork chop because it refused to come loose from the cellophane wrapper), I have a zit, Josie spit green beans all over the front of my favorite shirt, and I ended up locking myself in the bathroom to sob for 40 minutes, during which time Sadie banged repeatedly on the door yelling, "Knock, knock! Who is it? It's me, Sadie!" So, I'm done for the day...hopefully I won't trip over the bedspread and suffocate in my pillow.

The Pantless Wonder

Josie has reached that developmental stage in which "separation anxiety" is the norm. It's getting ridiculous! She'll be fine until she sees me, then she revs it up and screams her little lungs out until I pick her up or she collapses in a tired, sniveling heap... whichever comes first. She usually wins, I'm ashamed to admit. I'm a pushover, and her cry is so pitiful! It sounds like her little heart will break at any moment if she doesn't get what she wants RIGHT THIS SECOND. I am afraid she's getting the temper from my daddy's side of the family... the same one that he and I both have. Uh-oh. Sadie lucked out and got Jesse's laid-back attitude, but I think Josie is going to be a spitfire.

Today, after I changed Sadie's diaper, she took off running and got away without her pants. I said, "Come back here!" to which she replied, "I'm a pantless wonder!" (Thanks, Aunt Lydia :)

Today at work, I ventured out of the office and helped out on the salesfloor. I was up on a ladder, and I had to stick my head under a hinged-flap cover thing to hold it open while I was grabbing a box from behind it. A customer walked by behind me and said, "Wow. That's really using your head." Ba-dum-bah!

Well, I'm off to do a little voting for you-know-who. I'm such a loser.

Happiness

Every night before I go to bed, I go upstairs to check on my babies. I go in to Josie's room first, and I make sure she's all tucked in and not wedged up against the side of the crib (she likes to push her face up against the corner). She's usually all toasty, and her little cheeks are like squooshy warm velvet to the touch. I love hearing her make her little baby moans, sighs, and little snuffling sounds in her sleep. After I touch her to make sure she's not too hot, I put my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing. I always whisper, "Night night, sweet baby" and quietly close the door. I tiptoe over to Sadie's room and sneak in. She's usually sprawled out all over her crib, with a leg or an arm through the slats... sometimes she sleeps face down with her little bottom stuck up in the air. I roll her over, smooth her wispy hair back from her face, place my hand on her forehead, and stare at her serene little face. I love looking at her while she's sleeping and quiet... I hold her hand and watch her breathe. Sometimes as I'm standing there, looking at one of them, my heart feels like it will just explode.... I'm not sure how to explain it, but I have this irresistable urge to fall to my knees and pray. Tears well up in my eyes... there's this overwhelmingness about it all... the fact that these are mine. God gave them to me. They came from me. They call me the most revered name in the world: "Mommy." Happiness.

Josie the Joker

This afternoon, after naptime was supposed to be finished, I yelled upstairs: "Sadie, are you awake?" There was a pause, and then a little voice yelled back, "No!" After I stopped laughing, I sat Josie down in her Boppy pillow with a teething biscuit and went upstairs to get Sadie. When we came back down, I saw Josie, but no teething biscuit. Hmm. I looked around her; no biscuit. I looked at her face more closely... and her cheeks were sticking out way too far to be normal. She had smashed the whole thing into her mouth, SIDEWAYS, and was giving me this macabre little 2-toothed grin with teething biscuit drool down the side of her face. Luckily, I was able to get it out before she could try to swallow the thing whole. Every day's an adventure, let me tell you. This evening, we went to see some "baby kit-cats" at Great Uncle Roger's house. Sadie had a grand old time, and only tried to squish one once. Then she went around the entire basement, pointing out everything to her cousin Jessica and asking, "What's that now? What's this now?" She then told her favorite story about feeding the baby cow with Papaw again. I wish my memory were as good as hers. Then she told her favorite story about feeding the baby cow with Papaw again... oh, wait.

The Search

Saturday, Jesse lost his wallet. We spent 3 days frantically searching for it, combing the movie theater where we think it fell out of his pocket, harassing the theater employees, throwing things around, and yelling at each other about where it could be. He got a call today from a post office miles and miles away... they have it. Bizarre. Of course, we've already cancelled all the credit cards, and he had no cash in it, so the best we're hoping for is to get his pictures of Sadie and Josie back in one piece. I'm kind of sorry to see its return... there goes my gift idea for his birthday (which, by the way, is in just a couple of weeks. It's the big 3-0. I would make fun of him, but I am constantly reminded that he is only 5 months and 2 days older than me, and my day is coming).

The Not-Quite-Two Comedian

Sadie was in the tub the other night, and Josie was sitting on my lap, peering over into the water. She accidentally pushed the bottle of baby wash into the tub and it splashed both her and Sadie in the face. After two looks of surprise and shock, they both burst into giggles. Sadie then put the bottle back on the edge of the tub, and Josie went for it again. Splash! More squeals and giggles. Again. Splash! Cheers from Sadie, shrieks of delight from Josie. The game was on. They must have done this thirty times... I can't tell you how neat it was to see them interacting and playing together as sisters for the very first time.

These are just a few of the things that Sadie has said in the past couple of days. She keeps me laughing, even when I'm in a bad mood.

She absolutely loves Juicy Juice juice boxes. You know, the little square boxes with the straws attached? She's only allowed to have one a day, but she's always trying to manipulate us in order to con another one. The other night, she said, with dramatic emphasis, "Need juice box now... need juice box ALL DAY LONG!"

Today, as I was changing the sheets, she took one of the pillows, hugged it to her chest, closed her eyes, and said, "Pillow, pillow... I LOVE pillows."

She also wanted to climb up on the bed, and I told her to wait until I was finished putting the sheets back on. She thought about this for a second, then said, "Finish NOW, Mommy!"

She has taken to adding "now" to the ends of all of her questions... for any of you who have ever seen the "meow" scene in the movie Super Troopers, this should have an especially funny meaning. "What's that now?" "Where that now?" "What's this now?" "What doin,' now?"

And last but not least (this had me rolling in the floor), as I was putting her to bed last night, she took her little black sunglasses with Piglet on the sides, put them on, placed her hands on her hips, gave me a cool stare, and said, "Hey, Man...."

What Now?

Sadie, when she doesn't know what something is called, points at it and says, "What's this now? What's that now? What's this now?"

The Shame, the Shame

Okay, I think I am obsessed. Again, I stayed up to watch "you know what." Again, I called in no less than 23 times to vote for "you know who." Geez oh man. Other things I am ashamed of today: I ate 3 Cadbury eggs. Yes, three. The diet is not going well. I unknowingly stole a 3 pack of RightGuard men's deodorant from Wal-mart because it fell into Josie's carseat and I didn't see it when I checked out. A friend from work waved at me in the parking lot of a restaurant and I pretended I did not see her because I had on zilcho make-up. Instead of doing my daily Bible reading in the bathtub like I usually do, I started the sequel to "The Talisman." I watched "Walk the Line" (FABULOUS movie, I must say) and now I am subconsciously singing "Folsom Prison Blues" all the time. On its own, this is not that bad. With a toddler, however, I am inadvertently teaching her to sing, "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." I am on a slippery slope, and we all know that I have no ability to balance. Or sensible shoes.

Selfish is as Selfish Does

I'm having issues. Not sure what my problem is... if it's hormonal or what, but my patience has been practically non-existent these past few days. Maybe it's because I'm always a little sad after I go home and then come back up here. Anyway, my father-in-law called me a "grumpy broad" yesterday (lol) so I guess I need to shape up.

I didn't work today, but I had lots of work to do! Still preparing for this weekend... I have to get up early tomorrow and decorate a church for a wedding and deliver all of the flowers (thank goodness the bride wanted artificial rather than fresh, otherwise I don't know what I would've done). I finished putting together all of the materials for my workshop on Saturday (I have to be there at the crack of dawn to set up), so now all I have to do is buy enough food for 16 people for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and cook, cook, cook. If you don't hear from me for a while, I have collapsed in a puddle in the kitchen floor. Ding! I'm done!

Today, Sadie whispered to her Grandma Beth, "I'm a whippersnapper." heehee - that's what her Grandpa Roy calls her. It was pretty cute. She also said, "Put this Snoopy up there in his bed and give me the other one, please." That was the longest sentence ever (she has 2 backup Snoopys that live in her closet... she likes to rotate every now and then). Josie is now ticklish under her arms and likes playing the "Up close... Far away" zooming-back and forth- in front- of the mirror game with her daddy. Speaking of him, I am so jealous. Now I know how my mama felt all those years since I've always been a Daddy's girl. Sadie snuggled up next to him, put her arms around his neck and said, "Oh, Daddy, I love you... So much." Awww!!! What am I? Chopped liver?!

I'm far too blessed with these girls (and my husband) to complain, and yet, somehow, I do it anyway. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up being so lucky. I certainly don't deserve them. Or anything else, for that matter. Over the past few days, I've really been dwelling on what a bad person I basically am. Intrinsically evil, you could say. I mean, I'm not a serial killer or anything (maybe a cereal killer - I've been known to polish off a bowl or three of Fruity Pebbles now and then), but I am selfish, selfish, selfish. Trying to train Sadie not to say, "It's mine! MINE!" and "Me, me, me" all the time is definitely teaching me something. Human nature cannot be defeated, no matter how old we get and no matter how mature we may become. Selfishness is definitely inherent... I often find myself saying the same thing in my mind, "Me, me, me!" Thank God for grace and forgiveness.

I'm a Rambling Man... Um, I Mean, Woman

Hello, my devoted readers... I've got to tell you, I'm surprised that so many of you are hooked on my blog. I had no idea that so many of you care about my life! Thanks for all of the emails... I feel like my rambling actually has a receptive audience now (rather than a blank stare from my husband - he's Mr. Logical, and doesn't take well to rambling).

I know I've been posting my little heart out here, but I've been trying to play catch up after my sabbatical trip home. I didn't realize I missed doing this until I started writing yesterday and couldn't stop!

So I just watched my only (the only one I'm admitting, anyway) vice - American Idol. I can't believe I'm still watching it, but now I am totally pulling for Chris Daughtry. I told you a few weeks ago that he's my choice, and man! I am SO sticking with him. Did anyone SEE him tonight? Holy moly. I know, I know, no one cares about this dumb TV show but me. I can't help it.

High for the day: I have now lost 18 pounds! Don't worry... there is still no danger of me floating away in one of these nor'easter winds.

Low for the day: Exhaustion taking over. Overextended... late nights, doing a wedding this weekend (this is one of the bouquets I made) AND coordinating a workshop/seminar AND having company for the weekend. Isn't it bizarre that I still waste 2 hours waiting for Chris Daughtry to sing? Did I mention that he's from NC? ... someone shut me up, please.

Good joke passed on from my sister-in-law Sarah:
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,"You must be single." The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what? You're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."

Thank you, and good night! :)

One is silver and the other gold...

Do you know how it feels when you see an old friend that you haven't seen for a really long time? Kind of like you're coming home, right? That's how it always feels to me. Completing the circle, filling a space that's been empty when you didn't even know it, making old wrongs right, creating new memories on top of the old ones... I like that feeling. I like my old friends. Don't get me wrong - I like my new friends, too, but isn't there a beauty... a fulfillment... an almost freeing grace that comes from being with the ones who know you - really know you? And they love you anyway? I am so blessed to have a few friends like that. If you haven't seen your old friends lately, call them. Hang out. Do something crazy. Talk into the wee hours. I'm telling you - do it! It will make you feel more alive.

No Place Like Home on the Range

Well, we went home over the weekend... home to North Carolina. Let me tell you, there's just something about being in the shelter of those familiar green mountains that makes me feel, well, sheltered. Safe. Protected. At home. My dimishing accent returns with a vengeance.

As soon as I hit the county line, something changes inside of me. Stress levels seem to dissipate, and I feel somehow lighter, more free - I feel sixteen again. The pickup trucks with gun racks on the two lane roads, the armchairs in front yards, the crappy old cars up on blocks, the coon dogs, the livermush and split-fried hotdogs "all the way," the way my Daddy's always fixin' something in the garage, my Grandma's always got a pot of pintos on the stove, and my Mama's always telling me to be careful and lock my doors... it's the essence of home.

The girls had a great time being spoiled by Grammie, Great-Grandma, Papaw, and Mamaw. Not to mention numerous aunts, uncles, and Cindi. :) Sadie got to feed a baby calf at my Daddy's house. She is still SO excited about it. She's telling everyone, "Help Papaw, feed cow, baby, feed with bot-tell!"

Coming back is always the worst part of going. Sadie sits in the back seat, saying, "See Grammie now. See Papaw now. 3 weeks. 3 weeks." (We tell her how long it will be until she sees them again). She now says, "Bye" like "Buy," not like "By" (in other words, the way you're supposed to say it!).

You can take a girl out of the South, but you sure can't take the South out of the girl, ya'll. :)

Queen of Participles

"I standin'."
"I sittin'."
"I climbin'."
"I sweepin'."
"I jumpin'."
"I helpin'."
"I singin'."

- as quoted by Sadie, 23 months old. Also a quote: "I'm a genius." (I taught her that one :)

I Smell A Rat

Some days, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

First thing this morning, I tripped on the way to the car and almost flattened my nose against the side of the van. At work, I whacked my elbow on a filing cabinet which brought tears to my eyes. I then proceeded to be hit on by a 50ish lawyer/podiatrist in the Outdoor Lighting aisle who asked me if I'd like to come and (wink, wink) check out his new jacuzzi. Ick.

Once I got home, it was poop, poop, and more poop, followed by a phone call that I'd been waiting on for two days. Of course, when it finally came, the battery in my phone died about 3 seconds after I said hello.

Just when I thought the cosmic conspiracy couldn't get any worse, I decided to do the nice wifely thing and do some laundry for Jesse... yucky, stinky stuff that had been left out in the garage for a week or two, unbeknownst to yours truly. I go down to the laundry room, dump it in the washing machine, and turn it on. I go back down about an hour later to transfer it to the dryer. Well, after I got everything out, I happened to see some fuzz in the bottom of the washer... you know, a lintball or something that had fallen off during the cycle. I reached in to get it out and

PICKED UP A LIMP, SOGGY, DEAD MOUSE IN MY BARE HAND!!!

Arrgh!!! I still shudder to think about it. I screamed, of course, tossed the mouse in the air (luckily I was right next to the trash can, in which the mouse miraculously landed). I can still feel its disgusting little squishy, bony body in my unsuspecting hand! Bile rises in my throat. Blahahahhh. I can't talk about it anymore.

Funny Joke

This guy at work told me this joke today... he said it was really old, but I'd never heard it and I just rolled. There is always some truth in humor.... :) "Marriage is like a three ring circus. First comes the engagement ring. Then comes the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering."

This and That

Well, we are hitting the road to the South on Wednesday night - yippee! The girls and I and our friend Melissa are going home for a visit. Melissa is from Kentucky, but she just wanted to go anywhere south of here! Much like me, I might add. Sadie is so excited... I made the mistake of telling her that we're going about a week ago. I should've waited until the night before we left. Now she asks me all the time, "See Papaw? See Grammy? See Mamaw? See Great Gramma? Rudy? Cameron? Ride bi-cycle?" (Daddy & Sylvia got her a hot wheels for Christmas) It's pretty cute. I am so glad that she remembers everyone; otherwise, I'd probably be boohooing all of the time instead of a great deal of the time :) Josie has a cold, so she isn't having a very good time this week. She's sneezing little sneezes, coughing little coughs, whining little whines, and crying BIG cries. When she isn't happy, she wants everyone to know it. Sadie makes it a point to tell me, "Mommy, Mommy... Josie crying. Josie crying!!!" While I do appreciate her big-sisterly concern, I must admit that I think it's much funnier when she hears Josie and yells, "I comin', Josie-bean! I comin'! Quiet! Okay?" On a scary note, my sister-in-law Sarah informed me about this website that lets you see exactly where registered sex offenders are living in your area (see my "Die, Perverts, Die" Post if you're wondering where this is coming from). In a ten mile radius from here, there are 96. NINETY-SIX. I thought, "Well, maybe this is because we're on the outskirts of Cleveland. Not so... in a ten mile radius of my little ole' town in the South, there are 36. THIRTY-SIX!!! Please visit this site... make yourself and your kids aware of dangers that may be lurking in your own backyard. I don't mean to scare you, but hey! I'm scared, and why should I be the only one?! :) www.familywatchdog.us

And the winner is...

So I watched the show that I taped on Wednesday, and Chris Daughtry from McCleansville, NC is the big winner of my semi-psychic early pick for the winner of American Idol. Whew. Yikes.

Cheater

As I was putting Sadie in the tub (Josie went first and was already squirming around on her towel on the floor, blowing raspberries and saying "ay-yay-yah-yah-yah"), I told her that tomorrow, we'd get to see Deanna. She said, "See Deanna?!" I said, "Yes, but tomorrow. Not today. Tomorrow, after we go to sleep and then wake up." She thought about this for a minute, then leaned her head over against the wall, closed her eyes, and snored a couple of fake snores. Then she opened her eyes and said, "See DEANNA!!!"

In other news, I have switched to 3 days a week at work. I'm not sure how I feel about that... I've worked Monday through Friday for so long now that it really felt like I was cheating all day today.

We're planning to go home next weekend, so yippee! My friend Melissa (or "Lissa" as Sadie calls her) is coming with us. We have big plans to go to Boone and eat Japanese food - the Japanese places around here just aren't on par with Makoto's.

Still watching American Idol, I'm ashamed to admit. Every year, I promise myself that I'm not going to watch it, and then every year, I get sucked in. Not sure who I'm pulling for yet; I'll keep you posted, since I'm sure everyone really cares. :)

I think we're going back to Eat-N-Park tonight, so I'm hoping to run into Miss Betty! If I ever see her again, I'm definitely inviting her over for Sunday dinner. Or at least I'm getting her address. Or something!

That's it... I'm off for a date with Billy Blanks and his Ab Bootcamp video. Although the man is insane and I am usually crying by the end, I did, in fact, eat an entire chocolate cake doughnut yesterday, and I'm feeling it. Can one doughnut make your jeans tight again after a 15 pound losing streak?

My Sentiments, Exactly

Today, I gave Josie a big gold jingle bell on a string to play with. She thought it was so much fun! She waved it around all over the place with a crazed look in her eye. When Sadie saw this, I guess it sparked a memory from Christmas, because she started singing "Jingle Bells." This is her rendition:

"Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Jingle, Go Away!"

I laughed.

In other toddler news, she took a Kleenex out of the box, held it to her nose and said,
"Blesh-OOO," a strange combination of achoo and bless you. I figure that's a good idea, and I may pick it up myself. More streamlined.

Die, perverts, die!

Okay, I know this isn't like my usual light-hearted, fun-to-read conversational pieces. However, on Friday night I watched Dateline: To Catch a Predator III. It was unbelievable. I have been haunted ever since. Let me just say that I have always thought that there should be a special, painful lingering death reserved for sex offenders of children. This report just reinforced that conviction. It was totally bone-chilling to see the enormous number of people out there with this sick, sick, sick addiction. As a parent, just the thought makes me want to throw up. Dateline showed a set-up where they lured these sickos to a house where they thought they would be meeting up with a 12 year old that they "met" on the internet. These guys fully expected to GET with this 12 year old. Instead, they were met by Dateline cameras and the Sheriff's Department. In ONE night, 50 men were arrested for attempting to molest a child. And this was in one town in one county in one state in one country. Can you imagine how widespread this epidemic must be? Can you imagine this happening to YOUR child? Something must be done. Contact your congressmen. Write to your senators. And for their sake, PLEASE know what your child is doing at all times. Sitting at home playing on the computer may be the most dangerous place of all for them to be. We must protect those that cannot protect themselves.

You Eat It.

Tonight at dinner, we had spinach. Sadie usually likes spinach, but tonight when I tried to give her a spoonful, she said, "I don't like it." Just like that. A total and complete sentence, out of the blue, and she's not even two. I love it. Anyway, after that, I said, "Yes, you do. You love spinach," and I tried again to get her to eat it. I even tried the old airplane trick, which I never resort to. Finally, she looks straight at me and says, "YOU eat it." Man, that kid cracks me up. She was right, I wasn't eating mine, either.

Yesterday, it was nice out, so we went for a walk with the double stroller. Jesse and I got it at a great deal from my friend Chastity (she has twins, but couldn't use the front/back stroller because one of her boys was always getting kicked in the back of the head!). It's a great stroller, but it's so stinkin' hard to push. I feel like I'm steering a semi- half the time. I guess part of the problem could be that I have gargantuan children. Josie weighs 20 pounds already. We just put her in the "Johnny-Jump-Up" swing that hangs from the doorway, but it makes me very nervous because I always visualize her heft yanking the doorcasing right off.

Anyway, back to the walk. I guess I had crammed the stroller in the back of the van too hard or slammed the door on it or something, because the back seat (where Josie always sits) wouldn't go back. Well, she can't sit up straight yet, so I had to put Sadie back there and put Josie in the front, which would recline. This did not go over well with Miss Sadie. She had this sour look on her face the whole time we were walking, like she had been banished to Siberia or something ("Aren't I a little old for this, Mommy?"). Josie, on the other hand, thought the front was GREAT. She cooed and laughed and kicked her feet constantly. I guess I'm going to have to start making them take turns in the "good" seat.

Positive for the day: I have lost 15, count 'em, FIFTEEN pounds!!! Yahoo!
Negative for the day: Sadie somehow yanked a can of buttercream frosting out of the pantry which bopped her on the head. She then went around crying and yelling, "Boo boo! Boo boo! Hurts! Ow-wee! Where is Snoopy? I need Snoopy!" for about fifteen minutes.

P.S. Melanie, it's 9:09.

Happy to you!

Sadie is now in the habit of making "cakes" out of blocks, or anything else she can find, and putting make believe candles on them. Then she carries them, very carefully, up to me or Jesse or Deanna, or whoever else she wants to treat at the moment, and says, "Happy to you! Happy to you!" It's the cutest thing ever.

Josie now has her two bottom teeth. It was the weirdest thing: she went down for a nap last Saturday with no teeth, then woke up with two. Now she's constantly sticking her tongue up, out, down, and all around, trying to figure out what the heck those things are in there. I can almost hear her..."Mom! I have a growth! Mom!" :) This kid has the longest tongue I've ever seen. She can literally curl it up and almost touch her nose. You'd think that I had an affair with Steven Tyler or something, heehee. I honestly don't know where this gene came from - one of her great grandparents must have had that one or something. It's like a sssss-snake!

As for me, I've been super-hormonal for the past two days... you know the story: yelling for no reason, crying for no reason, wanting to punch my husband for no reason... does anyone else have these issues?? Honestly, these hormone things are like the plaque. Haha! I mean, PLAGUE. (I wish I could just brush or floss them away, but that's not working too well, and it kind of hurts when I try :) Plus, a Hormone Dentist? Yikes; what kind of scary tools would that guy be using? Pardon me, I digress.

New joke from my friend Melissa (also a displaced Southerner like me):
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.

Yes!!! This has the makings of another one of my favorite jokes. I'm all about the wordplays. Oh, and if you didn't get it, read it out loud. This cracks me up, almost as much as the infamous pretzel joke (see previous posts if you missed that little beauty!).

One more - this one is from "The Mitford Series" by Jan Karon - she lives in Blowing Rock and wrote this great Christian fiction series that makes me feel less homesick...

"An old man and an old woman were sitting on their front porch in the afternoon heat. She said to him, "I sure would like an ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce and nuts." He said, "That sounds good! I'll go down to the store and get us one." She said, "Maybe you should write it down; you're awfully forgetful these days!" After assuring her that he wouldn't forget, he leaves for the store and gets back about an hour later, carrying a paper bag containing two ham sandwiches. He hands it to her and she says, "SEE!? I TOLD you you'd forget!! I wanted MUSTARD on mine!"

Hardy har har - That one got me too. My grandpa would've loved that joke.

Maybe it's not just my kids...

This is Noah, my friend Chasity's little boy. He is a nut. I got him these "Billy Bob Teeth" for Christmas and he was thrilled.

And this is Noah's big sister, Kimmie. She was my first "baby." This is actually from last Christmas, but I think it's so funny that I decided to put it up now. Can you tell that she and Noah are related??

This is Chasity (the proud mom of these two and also of Dalton - I have no picture of him, since when I tried to take one, he yelled no and ran the other way :) holding Josie... she keeps saying, "Look at those cheeks! I just wanna SQUEEZE 'em!"

All Done!

*This is Sadie in her new overalls that Papaw Garry and Mamaw Sylvia got her for Christmas. Why couldn't I just get a smile like this one? Just one?

Tonight, we went to Picture People to get the girls' pictures made. I was SO excited, since I've always wanted to have them done there, and never have before because A: they are way too expensive, and 2: I have never before been so much of a glutton for punishment. Well, today, I had every mother's dream... a coupon! So we got all dressed up in the new outfits Grammy Gail paid for for Valentine's Day, we made arrangements to meet Deanna & Melissa at the mall, and off we went.

First of all, let me say this: I had it all together. Kids just woke from nap, so not sleepy. Kids just had snack, so not hungry. Kids just changed, so not dirty. Kids mine, so not normal.

Where oh where did I go wrong? We got to the store, and Sadie turned into a wacko. All we could figure out was that she was scared of the photographer (a guy wearing cowboy boots who was just a little on the odd side). Every time she went to sit on the bean bag, this dark cloud would come over her little face and out the bottom lip would come and start quivering. Then the whining began and she'd say, "Oh goodness (her new favorite exclamation), oh goodness. All done, all done." And she'd get up and try to get Deanna to pick her up or try to score Cheerios from Melissa. It was ridiculous. This happened over and over, and the whole time, Josie was sitting there on the bean bag, happy as a clam, smiling and laughing and looking like a Picture People poster child. Finally we bribed Sadie into sitting there for 2 seconds (Deanna had collateral - candy) and she actually stayed put. Of course, by this time, Josie was sick of the whole thing, too. In the only picture that was halfway decent of the two of them together, they both had red noses, snot and/or spit all over their chins, and they looked somewhat like pint-size headbangers. Geez. What a nightmare.

Poor photographer - I felt sorry for the guy. I asked him if he ever felt like smacking a kid. He said no, but I got the distinct feeling that he was lying. Anyway, I ended up with one pose of Josie - alone - taken back before the 2nd round of crying commenced. As far as professional pictures go, in the words of my child, I will just say this: "All done, all done!"

*Josie's learning to eat baby food... this is her showcasing her first taste of carrots. Yum!

I Believes it, Now That I Don't Sees It

Well, after much deliberation and discussion (good ones with my mother-in-law Beth and my good friend Brian, others with Jesse telling me that I'm nuts) I have come to the conclusion that the "thing" I saw in Josie's room was undoubtedly her very own guardian angel. The reasoning is this: After reading my Bible through twice in the past two years (and I'm starting on it again this year) I have found no reason to believe in actual "ghosts, or evil spirits," or whatever. I have come to believe that the "demons and evil spirits" in the Bible are sicknessness and diseases from which Jesus healed people (this comes from much study and also reading original Greek/Hebrew words that have been translated into the English). Becuase of this, I just don't think it could have been anything like evil incarnate, even though it scared me.

Enough about that, though... if you want to know more about what I think about that, just email me and I'll tell you. Back to the subject at hand. I realize that when angels appear to people in the Bible, usually the first thing they say is something like, "Don't be afraid." And why would they say that if people weren't scared out of their wits when they first saw them? So apparently, angels must be scary, at least at first. Maybe it's nothing more than the fear of the unknown, but that's a big fear! So the creepiness I felt when I first saw this thing was only normal. Now I'm thinking that it was a GOOD thing. Josie had a guardian angel, right in her room! Watching over her while she's sleeping! I mean, every night I pray for God to watch over them, but I never really thought that I'd see actual proof that He is. Wow.

Say What?

Did anyone know that I had twins?? Just kidding, but aren't these pictures amazingly similar? This is Josie 2 1/2 months (top) and Sadie at 3 months (bottom). I have beautiful babies, if I do say so myself.

I have nothing to write about today, so I thought I'd lighten the mood after that last posting - it was like a book!

So I got a fortune cookie that said, "You are strong and brave." I laughed.

My cousin Natasha told me a joke at Christmas... this was definitely my kind of joke:
"Two pretzels were walking down the street. One of them was assaulted."

Oh man... that cracked me up! Read it out loud, if you didn't get it the first time. Hehee!

Eat-N-Inspiration

Last Sunday night about 10:30, Jesse and I went to Eat-N-Park, an all night greasy spoon restaurant just around the corner from where we live. We were the only ones there, with the exception of one very aged, hunched over, little old lady. We were seated at the booth right in front of hers, so I was facing her and Jesse was facing me with his back to her. As we sat there, talking and ordering our food, I found that my gaze kept returning to this lady. She was in her eighties, I guessed, and she had this pinkish blonde hair pulled back from her face into some impossible array... I think it must have been a wig. She had a little rhinestone headband - with several missing stones - stuck down into her hair. She wore an ill-fitting poinsettia-red dress of a typical old-lady type, and a tarnished brassy wedding set on her left hand.

This lady kept looking through a stack of photos on the table in front of her. As I watched, she carefully lined them up, side by side. She peered into each of them like she was looking into a mirror, holding one up now and then to get a closer view. Then she stacked them neatly back together, placing them first into a worn envelope and then into her purse. She withdrew another envelope, this one a faded lavendar one with scribbled writing on the front, and set it on the table in front of her. She finished her salad, pushed her plate to the side, took a sip of her water, and opened the envelope. The entire time, I couldn't stop watching her.

"She's all alone," I whispered to Jesse. "What if she has no one? It's late at night, and she's sitting here looking through old pictures! I bet her husband is dead; I bet she's lonely, and has no one to talk to, and no one to look at her pictures... I'm going to cry," I told him. Indeed, seeing this creature sitting there all alone, looking through the precious memories of her life at 11:00pm in a deserted fast food chain, struck a chord in me. I'm not sure why, but I could not contain myself.

I had to talk to her. I kept looking at her until she finally glanced up and caught my eye, and I asked, "Are those pictures of your grandchildren?" She smiled and said, "Some of them." I said, "May I see them? I love looking at pictures!" She invited me over, and I slid into the booth next to her. Her name was "Miss Betty," and she was 82 years old. As she slowly went through her pictures with me, the story of her life unfolded. She was married when she was just 17 to a man named John, whom she loved with a "young, special love". They were only together for four years when he was shipped overseas to "one of those wars, the one during 1942." I was touched to realize that this woman had lived through so many wars during her lifetime that The War, the Great War, had just become another war to her. She told me that John was killed in the South Pacific, and she had been widowed at the age of 21.

John had a brother, George. George was also overseas at the time that his older brother was killed. When the war was over and he returned to the States, he and Betty got together to mourn their loss and to plan their futures. As time went on, they realized that they shared more than a common bond through John. Eventually, they fell in love, got married, and had 5 children together. Their marriage lasted over 60 years.

"I lost George 2 months ago," she told me. "He was such a good man, a really good guy. And do you know, when he was in the hospital bed, he motioned for me to come over and when I did, he said to me, 'I have really enjoyed our time together. It has been a really good life with you. I wish we could just have a few more years together, even one or two. But I'll take what we had anyday.' I thought that was so nice of him to say. We had our ups and downs, but we really loved each other."

She showed me pictures of George with their grandson (one of sixteen grandchildren), the two of them at one of their anniversary parties, their little dogs, their garden in the backyard, Christmases and birthdays, weddings and births and funerals. I couldn't believe that she was letting me witness this extraordinary life - me, a complete stranger from a different world and a different time - in a green vinyl booth in the middle of the night.

I told her about my life, about Jesse and Sadie and Josie, and about my own grandparents - how he had been in that same war, how they had been married over 50 years, and how Grandpa died just 2 years ago. I told her how hard it has been for my Grandma, and she said, "Oh, does she live around here? Maybe we could get together to talk...." I could only wish. I wish that I could get the two of them together; I know they'd be fast friends and maybe, somehow, they could be a balm for eachother's soul.

As it is, I'll probably never see this lady, this "Miss Betty," ever again. But as Jesse was paying the check and I was getting up to leave, she put her hand on my arm, stared directly into my eyes and she said, "Everything is going to work out for you. Everything is going to be good for you, just like it was for me.
I can just tell. You believe me... you believe me."

And I did.

I Sees It, But I Don't Believes It

So the other night, I went up to Josie's room to check on her (I'm such a paranoid... I check on both of them at least 3 times a night). I was just going to make sure she wasn't cold, wasn't smushed against the side of the crib, WAS breathing, etc., and then go back out and close the door. However, when I looked into her room, I saw this thing at the head of the bed (she has a bed and a crib in her room). Mind you, it was dark in there, but this thing was darker than the darkish dark, if you know what I mean. And it was shaped like a short person, and the way it was positioned it looked like it was standing on the bed, leaning up against the wall. I squinted my eyes and looked harder, but it was still there. Then I turned the lights on and back off again, and it was STILL there. Again. Still there. And no, it was NOT my own shadow in the doorway - I tried that one. I have no idea what it was, but it totally creeped me out. I thoroughly entertained the notion of snatching Josie out of her bed right then and there and bringing her down to sleep with me. But I tried not to panic. I mean, when the lights were on, it was gone, right? So it can't really be there, right? I am not a big believer in spooks (with the exception of Melanie's and my "Irish Spring" ghost), but I don't think it could have been an angel, either, because it gave me the creeps! I don't think God-sent angels would give you the creeps, do you?

Anyway, the next night I went up there and turned off all the lights and tried to see it again, but it never showed up. I can't figure out the exact positioning of the lights, the blinds on the windows, the moon, etc. It had to have been some weird trick of the lighting, but for the life of me I can't recreate it. Isn't that weird? Am I nuts, or do your eyes seriously play tricks on you as you get older? (Or maybe this low-cholesterol diet is taking its toll on me... my body is rebelling by trying to scare me to death.... it wants its junk food back!)

Jesse tells me that I have to stop being a baby... that I am the mommy, for Pete's sake. When Sadie or Josie come crying to me that they saw a monster, I can't scream, "Oh my gosh! Where?!" and run and hide. This is true, I suppose. But I am a chicken. What do mommy chickens do?

Oink, Oink

Today was not a good day. Yesterday, I had to have an in-office "procedure," shall we say, done at the doctor's office. We'll just leave it at that. Needless to say, all night last night and all day today, I've been popping Ibuprofen like crazy. Who knew it would hurt this much? Well, I guess the doctor did, but she didn't warn me because she wanted my money! Anyway, I've been somewhat of a grouch all day. I know, I know... it's hard to believe. :)

The kids were in a major crab-fest all day, too. I can almost see Josie's teeth in her bottom gum, so I know what her problem is, but Sadie? Sheesh. She's wearing me down, as Sarah would say. She cried at the drop of a hat today, which is pretty unusual. She's also scared to death of sitting on the counter now (I'm beginning to wonder if someone let her fall off and didn't tell me!). I used to sit her up there and let her legs dangle off the counter while she brushed her teeth or whatever, but now she starts crying, grabs on to me, and pulls my clothes off as she tries to CLIMB up me. It's weird. Maybe she's figuring out that she is not invincible, after all. This is the same girl who likes to climb the bookshelf up the back of the couch, do a backflip over it, and land on her head. I don't get it. I guess we all have our phobias. Mine are too numerous to list here.

Tonight, as she was crying (again) and screaming "No bed! No bed!" while I changed her diaper and put on her PJ's, I started telling her the story of the Three Little Pigs, which she's heard on numerous occasions and LOVES. Her favorite part is, of course, the huffing and puffing and blowing the house down. That's my favorite part, too. Anyway, as I told her the story, I got to the part where the Big Bad Wolf says, "Little Pig, Little Pig, let me come in!" By this time, I had Sadie's attention and so I asked her, "And what did the Little Pig say?" (Bear in mind that the Little Pig is supposed to answer, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!") Instead of the usual, universally accepted answer, she yells out, "Oink, Oink!" I laughed out loud. I can't stay mad at Miss Crabbypants for long.

New family picture... Mommy & Daddy Crabbypants, and our two little piggies. :) Sadie obviously wasn't interested in the picture-taking festivities.

Move It, Mommy

Today, I was trying to fix dinner and I was in Sadie's way (she was trying to get into the dishwasher to play with the knives). Of course, I would not move, so she looks up at me and says, "Move it, Mommy!" I was a little surprised. The vocabulary of this kid never ceases to amaze me. Sunday, after church, she picked up one of her little books and held it out in front of her like a hymn book and sang, "God, God, God, God, God!!!" That was pretty stinking cute. Josie likes hanging her head upside down these days. If I'm holding her or she's sitting on my lap, she'll lean way back and hang her head all the way upside down so the world is askew (it's only the beginning, my dear :). She thinks it's hilarious, and laughs her little chortle snort laugh. You should hear it.

Tonight, I finished my scrapbook! All of 2004 and 2005 packed into one (albeit very large) bursting at the seams book. I've decided to do one every 2 years. Hopefully. I almost cussed while I was trying to bind it together... I had to step on it to get it to close!!! Ridiculous. (Oh, Sadie has learned that word, too. And "disgusting." Which is what I taught her that cigarettes are: "dis-bluss-en."

Nothing much to report here. Still no snow. Whoopee!!! Still holding at only 5 pounds lost. But my pants are not nearly as tight. What does that say about me?

To those of you who care, my blog is now accepting anonymous comments, CINDI! :)


This is my beautiful "Sade-falfa" Bathtime is her favorite time of day! By the way, that's not blood on the wall of the tub... she got some tub crayons from Aunt Lydia for Christmas, and she draws all over everything with them. They're great - they wipe right off of the tub (yes, I have tried them myself :) What? Don't you ever get bored in the bathtub? I don't see why once we grow up we no longer have tub toys. This is the epitome of all that's wrong with the world! I want my squeaky elephant!

This is Josie in her new bathrobe that Grammie Gail got her for Christmas. Doesn't she have the rosiest cheeks ever?

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Toilet

My mom gave Sadie a Cuckoo Clock for Christmas. This was a very special gift, since Sadie's great-grandma has one, and she absolutely LOVES it. She would listen to it over the phone every time her Grammie would call, just so she could squeal and say, "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" So, my mom got her her very own for Christmas. However, this is not your ordinary cuckoo clock. It's supposed to have a "natural theme," and you're supposed to be able to hear rivers, woodland sounds, etc. when the cuckoo is, well, cuckoo-ing (I seem to be writing that word an awful lot). Unfortunately, every time it strikes the hour, a very loud, and very distinct FLUSHING sound precedes the cuckoo's call. It's the weirdest thing you ever heard. It's like this cuckoo is being caught off guard in the bird-john, yanking up his little bird-pants as fast as he can, and running pell-mell to the tiny little bird-door to stick out his little bird-head and yell "Cuckoo!" The whole thing is cuckoo, if you ask me.

And speaking of cuckoo, this is a grandparents/grandkids picture of the Lansing clan :) These kids are so funny!

Saturdays: A Time for Cleaning, Sweating, and Being Generally Irritated

Today, Jesse was in a horrible mood. Therefore, I morphed into a bad mood myself. I just can't seem to be around irritable people without sponging it up myself. That's a bad characteristic to have. Just call me "SpongeDevone Kick-You-In-the-Pants." Anywho, today I took it upon myself to purge my - dun-dun, DUN - MAKEUP DRAWER! Someone please remind me that I never need to buy foundation again. Ever. Seriously. You'd think my face was as big as a Roulette wheel or something. Sadie helped... or as you could probably imagine, Sadie helped herself to my lipstick, mascara, and eyeliner. By the time she was finished, she looked like Elton John, late for church after a trip up White Oak Mountain.

Good news: I have lost 5 pounds. Bad news: I am starving. I found out that I have high cholesterol!!! Apparently, it is inherited. They want to put me on drugs, but I am determined to beat it by diet alone. We shall see. I am a bit stubborn, I've been told. But I don't believe it and I NEVER WILL!!! Hahaha. The sweating is coming up now... I'm headed to the treadmill. I just can't help but feel like a hamster on that thing. It probably doesn't help that sometimes I eat string cheese while I'm on there. I also watch "Dr.Phil" as I run. I love Dr.Phil. I guess you either love him or you hate him, but he's my hero. I guess I'm just desperate to hear someone say, "That dog don't hunt," and around here, he's my only hope. Sigh... I miss home. :)

So here is a new, improved picture of Sarah, since she hates the other one, although I found it to be altogether lovely. She is, shall we say, a bit on the picky side. I have no idea where she gets this, especially since her brother (that would be Jesse) could not care less about what he looks like - many of you have met the self-proclaimed "Plaid Man," and can vouch for me on this. Anyway, here you go, Sarah... this one's for you.

Sarah does this amazing thing with paper plates. It's a crazy ab-workout thing. You put your toes on the paper plates, act like you're doing a push-up, and then slide your feet all over the place. It works: Sarah has a 6 pack. I tried it: I have carpet burn on the end of my nose. LOL.



This picture is Sadie's famous "Hitler Moustache" picture. She stole a magic marker when I wasn't looking and drew this on herself. I love it. Doesn't she look like a meanie? She cracks me up. My mom told me that this is the exact same face that I make. I don't know what she's talking about. Am I not always perfectly pleasant and wonderful to be around?! :)

The Greatest Book Ever! (Well, besides the Bible)

I just finished reading "Sisterchicks Do the Hula" by Robin Jones Gunn. Angela gave this to me for Christmas, and I started it Tuesday and finished it Wednesday! It was that good! I never thought I would enjoy Christian fiction so much (with the exception of the Mitford Series, which I adore - maybe because it's set in Blowing Rock, NC, and I'm homesick most of the time). Anyway, this book was fabulose-o. It totally reminded me of my own girlfriends. I'm so blessed to have them! Especially the ones I've known for years and years and years. You just don't form bonds like those with new friends, usually. Six of us that were friends all through high school are planning a "Girls' Trip" next summer. We're so excited that we can't even stand it... I for one, am already packed. It's not what you think... not because I'm so organized and ready to go, but because I HAVE NO HOME and I NEVER UNPACKED!!! :) I don't sound bitter, do I?

What Day is This?

I seem to be forgetting more and more as time goes on. Could it be that (gasp) I am getting old? I can't seem to remember what day it is anymore. Being off work for vacation certainly didn't help, and neither did the freakish things that hormones do to your body when you bear children.... I'm beginning to think that you never return to normal. I used to be Miss Organization. Now I am "Mrs. Huh?" Oh, well. We looked at property today to potentially build a house on, but they didn't want to subdivide it, and it was almost 4 acres, which is more than we want. So... the search continues. We have decided on Middlefield, which is like a farming community (complete with Amish horses and buggies) BUT with one important distinction: it has a Super Walmart. This is a very important factor in determining where I will live. If I have to be here in the frigid Anarctic plains of Northeast Ohio, I at least deserve the comfort of being able to find the furniture polish, nail polish, car polish, and Polish sausages all at once. And not have to stand in line for 7 hours to pay for it. As Rainman once said, Kmart sucks. That's all I have to say about that.

Next, I have received several comments, which I am thrilled about... One of them was from my sister-in-law, Sarah... This is her picture - isn't she hot? :) Heehee... More pictures of Sarah to come, but they'll probably be with the kids, so enjoy this lone shot. This was at our friend Deanna's wedding (I made that bouquet, by the way). Sadie was the flower girl. Let's see if I can find a picture of her....

A blog is a blog is a blog

So Melanie finally talked me into doing this. I must admit, I'm a bit intimidated. I haven't written much in, oh, say, the past 2 years (with the exception of the captions in my baby books). However, I figure that no one is really going to read this anyway (with the exception of Melanie, of course, and possibly 2 other people who care about my life :)

Anyway, this might be a good way to get my pictures out to everyone on a time-li-er basis (heehee - I know that's not a word...I was, after all, an English major). I keep filling up people's mailboxes with huge files of photos, so here we go. Wish me luck.

This is a picture of Sadie, telling me to look and see if she has any "boogies." This is a primary concern of hers at this point in her life. (Come to think of it, it's still a major concern of mine, too, especially when I'm out in public...).

This one is a picture of the girls (guess which ones are mine) while we were visiting our friends Brenda & Louis over Christmas vacation. Sadie thought these dolls were great... Josie just wanted to eat them.

And this is Josie in her new winter hat that her Grandma Beth made for her. Isn't it a hoot? Also pictured is her new favorite toy, a frog that sings a counting song (this is a gift from our friends Becky, Stephen, & Hailey). She loves this frog. I think it may be a "Snoop in the making." We'll see! She's already sucking her thumb like Sadie, so maybe she'll get attached to something, too.